Ace, Gifts from Marcus
by Charlotte.Aniston
Summary: Victoria has lived her life under the eye of her father, Marcus. since her brother left he has hurt her even more, but today id the choosing ceremony. see the world through the eyes of a girl who wasnt and isnt a stiff. read about how she conquers fears, ranks first and deals with pain. what will happen between her and her brother, Tobias? (Story is better than Summary)
1. Chapter 1

My father, Marcus, presses me firmly against the wall, holding my throat; my frightened eyes look away. I inherited my mother's eyes; she was a bloody coward. She used to be my protection; both Tobias and I looked to her for warmth and safety. But she left; faked her own death, and left us behind. Tobias was still there then, so I was still safe. Marcus still hurt me and abused me but at least I had someone I loved near me. But then Tobias left too, anger burns brightly in the pit of my stomach but it dies down, he felt threatened; at least he is safe. "You will not speak to anyone, you will not smile at anyone and you will choose Abnegation." He says and I close my eyes to let him know I will. Even though my results for the aptitude test came back as Dauntless and Erudite, I know that he will kill me if I choose anything differently. The door to my empty room is open and it sends shivers down my spine, he only opens that door to let me out when he wants to hurt me or when someone will see him and I have to be there. As far as everybody else is concerned I am Marcus's antisocial, sociopath daughter and I am insane out of my mind and that is why I may not leave the room. Everyone in abnegation brings things and visits me. I lie, I pretend. I sit in my room, tying knots in a string and looking terrified of everything. This one time Jeanine Matthews visited our house and I had to scream at a chair angrily, shouting at it like it had stolen something. I got a fair beating that day. When we reached the ceremony, Marcus stood with me and the room allowed it, everybody knew I was out of my mind. I spotted Tobias and for a second our eyes met and then he looked away. "Victoria Eaton" they called and the room silenced. I stepped forward and turned to face Marcus. "You need not take me there, father. I know what I am to do." A thought, most brilliant, occurred to me. He couldn't hurt me, not in front of these people. He would never hurt me again if I left Abnegation. I could be free! I walked to the table and looked at its contents I picked up the knife on the table and looked over at Tobias. The room was silent and turned to miss Matthews who stood in front. "I do beg for your forgiveness," I said and turned to Tobias, not waiting for a reply. "I miss you." I said aloud and I picked up the knife. "But that is not why I'm doing this. I am doing this, because it is who I am." I cut my hand and I bled into the bowl of coal. No one moved a muscle; it proved that some people in Dauntless do know about Marcus. Marcus, for one, looked shocked at my move of resistance; but who wasn't? Even Tobias was shocked. Then my grey boots clicked loudly on the floor as I walked over to dauntless. I let lose my hair and the Dauntless cheered loudly, all but Tobias. we ran down the stairs at the end of the ceremony. We cheered and screamed and out feet echoed in the distance. I followed the Dauntless down the street and around the corner then I heard a familiar sound: the train horn.

"Oh no," mumbles a Candor girl next to me. "Are we supposed to hop on that thing?"

"Yes," I say with a wide and most likely scary, smile.

The crowd spreads out in a long line. The train glides toward us on steel rails, its light flashing, and its horn blaring. The door of each car is open, waiting for the Dauntless to pile in, and they do, group by group, until only the new initiates are left. The Dauntless-born initiates are used to doing this by now, so in a second it's just faction transfers left.

I step forward with a few others and start jogging. We run with the car for a few steps and then throw ourselves sideways. I cling to a handle next to the doorway, my shoulder slamming into the car. My arms shake, and finally a Candor boy grabs me and pulls me in. Gasping, I thank him.

I hear a shout and look over my shoulder. A short Erudite boy with red hair pumps his arms as he tries to catch up to the train. An Erudite girl by the door reaches out to grab the boy's hand, straining, but he is too far behind. He falls to his knees next to the tracks as we sail away, and puts his head in his hands.

I feel uneasy. He just failed Dauntless initiation. He is factionless now. It could happen at any moment.

"You all right?" the Candor boy who helped me asks briskly. He is tall, with dark hair and his green eyes sparkle as he helps me up. He's handsome.

I nod.

"I'm Peter," he says, with a smile. "do mind sitting close to me? You're making my crotch a bit hard." He says, unfiltered.

"sure, I'm Victoria," I say.

"Do you know where we're going?" i have to shout over the wind, which blows harder through the open doors by the second. And he still doesn't hear me. The train is picking up speed. I sit down. It will be easier to keep my balance if I'm low to the ground. he raises an eyebrow at me.

"A fast train means wind," a girl, a stiff says to her friend "Wind means falling out. Get down."

Peter sits next to me, inching back to lean against the wall. His breath is hot on my cheek and I almost depress myself by thinking of Marcus.

Then the wind rushes through the car, and the other faction transfers, hit with bursts of air, fall on top of one another. Peter and I sit tightly together, he is warm and I am cold. The perfect combination.

Over my left shoulder, orange light from the setting sun reflects off the glass buildings, and I can faintly see the rows of grey houses that used to be my home. Who will he take his anger out on now? And what will he do to whomever that is? I imagine a young girl, with blonde hair sitting in my place. Did he know that i would choose Dauntless? And if he did, how did I not notice?

What a good actor he was.

I close my eyes and picture my father sitting at the dinner table in silence. Is it a lingering hint of fear that makes my throat tightens at the thought of him, or is it happiness, because I know Tobias would protect me from him?

"They're jumping off!"

I lift my head. My neck aches. I have been curled up with my back against the wall for at least a half hour, listening to the roaring wind and watching the city smear past us. I sit forward. The train has slowed down in the past few minutes, and I see that the boy who shouted is right: The Dauntless in the cars ahead of us is jumping out as the train passes a rooftop. The tracks are seven stories up.

The idea of leaping out of a moving train onto a rooftop, knowing there is a gap between the edge of the roof and the edge of the track, makes me want to scream; in excitement. I push myself up and stumble to the opposite side of the car, where the other faction transfers stand in a line.

"We have to jump off too, then," a Candor girl says. She has a large nose and crooked teeth.

"Great," Peter replies, "because that makes perfect sense, Molly. Leap off a train onto a roof."

"This is kind of what we signed up for, Peter," the girl points out.

"Well, I'm not doing it," says an Amity boy behind me. He has olive skin and wears a brown shirt—he is the _only_ transfer from Amity. His cheeks shine with tears.

"You've got to," a dark skinned girl says, "or you fail. Come on, it'll be all right."

"No, it won't! I'd rather be factionless than dead!" The Amity boy shakes his head. He sounds panicky. He keeps shaking his head and staring at the rooftop, which is getting closer by the second.

I don't agree with him. I would rather be dead than empty.

"You can't force him," I say, glancing at the dark skinned girl. Her brown eyes are wide, and she presses her lips together so hard they change colour. Peter offers me his hand.

"Here," he says. I raise an eyebrow at his hand, about to say that I don't need help, but he adds, "I just…can't do it unless I know you're going to be on the other side." he's so corny.

I take his hand and we stand at the edge of the car. As it passes the roof, I count, "One…two…_three_!"

On three we launch off the train car. A weightless moment, and then my feet slam into solid ground and pain prickles through my shins. I roll and land on my feet; Peter looks up at me in amazement. I howl, like a wolf and everyone looks at me. I laugh, so does Peter.

"Marry me," he says.

I know immediately that i will fit in with Dauntless thrill seekers. I brush grains of rock from my knee. All the initiates except the Amity boy made it onto the roof, with varying levels of success. The Candor girl with crooked teeth, Molly, holds her ankle, wincing, and Beatrice, the stiff with blonde hair, looks like she's going to cry—shame, she doesn't belong here.

Then I hear a wail. I turn my head, searching for the source of the sound. A Dauntless girl stands at the edge of the roof, staring at the ground below, screaming. Behind her a Dauntless boy holds her at the waist to keep her from falling off.

"Rita," he says. "Rita, calm down. Rita—"

I stand and look over the edge. There is a body on the pavement below us; a girl, her arms and legs bent at awkward angles, her hair spread in a fan around her head. My stomach sinks and I stare at the railroad tracks. Not everyone made it. And even the Dauntless aren't safe.

Rita sinks to her knees, sobbing. I turn away.

I tell myself, as sternly as possible, _that is how things work here_. We do dangerous things and people die. People die, and we move on to the next dangerous thing. The sooner that lesson sinks in, the better chance I have at surviving initiation.

I'm still sure that I will survive initiation.

I tell myself I will count to three, and when I'm done, I will move on. _One._ I picture the girl's body on the pavement, and a shudder goes through me. _Two_. I hear Rita's sobs and the murmured reassurance of the boy behind her. _Three._

My lips pursed, I walk away from Rita and the roof's edge.

My elbow stings. I pull my sleeve up to examine it, my hand shaking. Some of the skin is peeling off, but it isn't bleeding.

"Ooh. _Scandalous!_ A Stiff's flashing some skin!"

I lift my head. "Stiff" is slang for Abnegation, but I'm not the only one here. Peter points at Beatrice, smirking. I hear laughter. Her cheeks heat up, and I let my sleeve fall.

"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!" shouts a man at the other end of the roof. He is older than the others, with deep creases in his dark skin and grey hair at his temples, and he stands on the ledge like it's a sidewalk. Like someone didn't just fall to her death from it. "Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."

"You want us to jump off a _ledge_?" asks an Erudite girl. She is a few inches taller than I am, with mousy brown hair and big lips. Her mouth hangs open.

I don't know why it shocks her.

"Yes," Max says. He looks amused.

"Is there water at the bottom or something?"

"Guess you'll just have to find out" He raises his eyebrows.

The crowd in front of the initiates splits in half, making a wide path for us. I look around. No one looks eager to leap off the building—their eyes are everywhere but on Max. Some of them nurse minor wounds or brush gravel from their clothes. I glance at Peter. He is picking at one of his cuticles. Trying to act casual. Beatrice steps forward.

Max steps aside, leaving her path clear. She walks up to the edge and look down. Wind whips through her clothes, making the fabric snap. The building she's on forms one side of a square with three other buildings. In the centre of the square is a huge hole in the concrete. I can't see what's at the bottom of it.

This is a scare tactic. She will land safely at the bottom. That knowledge is the only thing that helps her step onto the ledge. My teeth chatter. She can't back down now. Not with all the people betting she'll fail behind her. She jumps. Max smirks "Right, whose next?" My hands fumble along the collar of my shirt and find the button that secures it shut. After a few tries, I undo the hooks from collar to hem, and pull it off my shoulders.

Beneath it, I wear a grey T-shirt. It is tighter than any other clothes I own, one of the leaders looks directly at my bust. He stifles a groan and looks away... "I guess, that'll be me." I ball up my outer shirt and look over my shoulder, at Peter. I throw the ball of fabric at him as hard as I can, my jaw clenched. It hits him in the chest. He stares at me. I hear catcalls and shouts behind me.

I look at the hole again. Goose bumps rise on my pale arms, and my stomach lurches. If I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it at all. I swallow hard.

I don't think. I just bend my knees and jump.

The air howls in my ears as the ground surges toward me, growing and expanding, or I surge toward the ground, my heart pounding so fast it hurts, every muscle in my body tensing as the falling sensation drags at my stomach. The hole surrounds me and I drop into darkness.

I hit something hard. It gives way beneath me and cradles my body. The impact knocks the wind out of me and I wheeze, struggling to breathe again. My arms and legs sting.

A net. There is a net at the bottom of the hole. I look up at the building and laugh, that was_ so _fun! My body shakes and I cover my face with my hands. I just jumped off a roof.

I never want to stand on solid ground again. I see a few hands stretching out to me at the edge of the net, so I grab the first one I can reach and pull myself across. I roll off, and I would have fallen face-first onto a wood floor if he had not caught me.

'He' is the young man attached to the hand I grabbed. He has a spare upper lip and a full lower lip. His eyes are so deep-set that his eyelashes touch the skin under his eyebrows, and they are dark blue, a dreaming, sleeping, waiting colour. Tobias.

His hands grip my arms, but he releases me a moment after I stand upright again.

"Thank you," I say.

We stand on a platform ten feet above the ground. Around us is an open cavern.

"Can't believe it, Four" a voice says from behind him.

"What's your name?" he says and as I squint at him, "Later." He mumbles sternly. Two years hasn't been enough time for him to make a speech explaining why he left me there to die.

"Victoria."

"Make the announcement, Four."

Tobias—Four—looks over his shoulder and shouts, "Second jumper—Victoria!"

A crowd materializes from the darkness as my eyes adjust. They cheer and pump their fists, and then another person drops into the net. Her screams follow her down. Christina. Everyone laughs, but they follow their laughter with more cheering.

Four sets his hand on my back and says, "Welcome to Dauntless."


	2. Chapter 2

WHEN ALL THE initiates stand on solid ground again, Four leads us down a narrow tunnel. The walls are made of stone, and the ceiling slopes, so I feel like I am descending deep into the heart of the earth. The tunnel is lit at long intervals, so in the dark space between each dim lamp, I fear that I am lost until a shoulder bumps mine. In the circles of light I am safe again.

The Erudite boy in front of me stops abruptly, and I smack into him, hitting my nose on his shoulder. I stumble back and rub my nose as I recover my senses. The whole crowd has stopped, and our three leaders stand in front of us, arms folded.

"This is where we divide," a girl says. "The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume _you_ don't need a tour of the place."

She smiles and beckons toward the Dauntless-born initiates. They break away from the group and dissolve into the shadows. I watch the last heel pass out of the light and look at those of us who are left. Most of the initiates were from Dauntless, so only ten people remain. Of those, I am not the only Abnegation transfer, and there are no Amity transfers. The rest are from Erudite and, surprisingly, Candor. It must require bravery to be honest all the time. I wouldn't know.

Four addresses us next. "Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor," he says. "My name is Four."

Christina asks, "Four? Like the number?"

"Yes," Four says. "Is there a problem?"

"No."

"Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It—"

Christina snickers. "The Pit? Clever name."

Four walks up to Christina and leans his face close to hers. His eyes narrow, and for a second he just stares at her.

"What's your name?" he asks quietly.

"Christina," she squeaks.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction," he hisses. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods.

Four starts toward the shadow at the end of the tunnel. The crowd of initiates moves on in silence.

"What a jerk," she mumbles.

"I guess he doesn't like to be laughed at," Tris replies.

Four pushes a set of double doors open, and we walk into the place he called "the Pit."

"Oh," whispers Christina. "I get it."

"Pit" is the best word for it. It is an underground cavern so huge I can't see the other end of it from where I stand, at the bottom. Uneven rock walls rise several stories above my head. Built into the stone walls are places for food, clothing, supplies, leisure activities. Narrow paths and steps carved from rock connect them. There are no barriers to keep people from falling over the side.

A slant of orange light stretches across one of the rock walls. Forming the roof of the Pit are panes of glass and, above them, a building that lets in sunlight. It must have looked like just another city building when we passed it on the train.

Blue lanterns dangle at random intervals above the stone paths, similar to the ones that lit the Choosing room. They grow brighter as the sunlight dies.

People are everywhere, all dressed in black, all shouting and talking, expressive, gesturing. I don't see any elderly people in the crowd. Are there any old Dauntless? Do they not last that long, or are they just sent away when they can't jump off moving trains anymore?

A group of children run down a narrow path with no railing, so fast my heart pounds, and I want to join them. A memory of the orderly Abnegation streets appears in my mind: a line of people on the right passing a line of people on the left, small smiles and inclined heads and silence. My stomach squeezes. This is much better, this chaos makes me feel safe and at home.

"If you follow me," says Four, "I'll show you the chasm."

He waves us forward. Four's appearance seems tame from the front, by Dauntless standards, but when he turns around, I see a tattoo peeking out from the collar of his T-shirt. He leads us to the right side of the Pit, which is conspicuously dark. I squint and see that the floor I stand on now ends at an iron barrier. As we approach the railing, I hear a roar—water, fast-moving water, crashing against rocks.

I look over the side. The floor drops off at a sharp angle, and several stories below us is a river. Gushing water strikes the wall beneath me and sprays upward. To my left, the water is calmer, but to my right, it is white, battling with rock.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" Four shouts. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned."

"This is incredible," says Christina, as we all move away from the railing.

"Incredible is the word," I say, nodding.

Four leads the group of initiates across the Pit toward a gaping hole in the wall. The room beyond is well-lit enough that I can see where we're going: a dining hall full of people and clattering silverware. When we walk in, the Dauntless inside stand. They applaud. They stamp their feet. They shout. The noise surrounds me and fills me. Christina smiles, and a second later, so do I.

We look for empty seats. Peter, his friends and i discover a mostly empty table at the side of the room, and I find myself sitting between him and Eric. In the center of the table is a platter of food I don't recognize: circular pieces of meat wedged between round bread slices. I pinch one between my fingers, unsure what to make of it.

"oh, I love hamburgers!" Molly, abeefy girl says.

"Why?" i ask and everybody looks at me like I'm insane.

"Stiffs eat plain food, I'm Eric." Eric says next to me.

"I'm not a stiff. By the way, nice earrings." I say and the group erupts in laughter. "Why do you guys eat plain food?" Peter asks

I shrug. "Extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary."

He smirks. "No wonder you left."

"Yeah," I say, rolling my eyes. "It was because I hated the food." And Eric smiles at me then gets up and leaves. I open my mouth to say something smart-ass like, _careful, we wouldn't want you falling over your high-heels now would we? _But I decide against it. if I wanted to die I would have jumped into the chasm while we were there.

The doors to the cafeteria open, and a hush falls over the room. I look over my shoulder. A young man walks in, and it is quiet enough that I can hear his footsteps. His face is pierced in so many places I lose count, and his hair is long, dark, and greasy. But that isn't what makes him look menacing. It is the coldness of his eyes as they sweep across the room. Its Eric. We can hear other girls voices from behind us.

"Who's that?" hisses Christina.

"His name is Eric," says Four. "He's a Dauntless leader."

"Seriously? But he's so young."

Four gives her a grave look. "Age doesn't matter here."

I can tell she's about to ask what I want to ask: _Then what does matter?_ But Eric's eyes stop scanning the room, and he starts toward a table. He starts toward _our_ table and drops into the seat next to Four. He offers no greeting, so neither do we.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" he asks, nodding to Christina and me.

Four says, "This is Tris and Christina."

"Ooh, a Stiff," says Eric, smirking. His smile pulls at the piercings in his lips, making the holes they occupy wider, and I wince. "We'll see how long you last."

I mean to say something—to assure him that she _will_ last, maybe—but words fail me. I don't understand why, but I don't want Eric to look at her, or anyone else, any longer than he already has. I only want him to watch me, so I can prove a stiff can do it. that's the _only _reason why, nothing else.

He taps his fingers against the table. His knuckles are scabbed over, right where they would split if he punched something too hard.

"What have you been doing lately, Four?" he asks.

Four lifts a shoulder. "Nothing, really," he says.

Are they friends? My eyes flick between Eric and Four. Everything Eric did—sitting here, asking about Four—suggests that they are, but the way Four sits, tense as pulled wire, suggests they are something else. Rivals, maybe, but how could that be, if Eric is a leader and Four is not?

"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up," Eric says. "He requested that I find out what's going on with you."

Four looks at Eric for a few seconds before saying, "Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold."

"So he wants to give you a job."

The rings in Eric's eyebrow catch the light. Maybe Eric perceives Four as a potential threat to his position. I cant believe Four and someone so nice wouldn't get along, usually it's a good guy and a bad guy that don't get along. Does that make four, my brother, a bad guy?

"So it would seem," Four says.

"And you aren't interested."

"I haven't been interested for two years."

"Well," says Eric. "Let's hope he gets the point, then."

He claps Four on the shoulder, a little too hard, and gets up. When he walks away, I slouch immediately. I had not realized that I was so tense.

"Are you two…friends?" Tris says, and I listen in unable to contain my curiosity.

"We were in the same initiate class," he says. "He transferred from Erudite."

All thoughts of bad guy/ good guy leave me, they are both bad and both good. "Were you a transfer too?"

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," he says coldly. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?"

"It must be because you're so approachable," she says flatly. "You know. Like a bed of nails."

He stares at her, and she doesnt look away. He isn't a dog, but the same rules apply. Looking away is submissive. Looking him in the eye is a challenge. It's her choice.

Heat rushes into my cheeks. What will happen when this tension breaks?

But he just says, "Careful, Tris."

My stomach drops like I just swallowed a stone. A Dauntless member at another table calls out Four's name, and I turn to Peter. He raises both eyebrows.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm developing a theory."

"And it is?"

"That you like him." He says and I pull a face so disgusted I'm not in the mood to eat anymore. Me and four? Gross.

After dinner, Four disappears without a word. Eric leads us down a series of hallways without telling us where we're going. I don't know why a Dauntless leader would be responsible for a group of initiates, but maybe it is just for tonight.

At the end of each hallway is a blue lamp, but between them it's dark, and I have to be careful not to stumble over uneven ground. Peter walks beside me in silence. No one told us to be quiet, but none of us speak.

Eric stops in front of a wooden door and folds his arms. We gather around him.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric," he says. "I am one of five leaders of the Dauntless. We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training."

The thought makes me nauseous. The idea that a Dauntless leader will oversee our initiation is bad enough, but the fact that it's Eric makes it seem even worse. What if I embarrass myself in front of him?

"Some ground rules," he says. "You have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation."

The phrase "do whatever you like" sticks in my mind. At home, I could never do what I wanted, not even leave my room. I had to think of other people's needs first. I don't even know what I like to do.

"You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," Eric adds. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds and only nine of you. We anticipated that a higher proportion of you would make it this far."

"But we started with twelve," protests Christina. I close my eyes and wait for the reprimand. She needs to learn to stay quiet.

"There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound," says Eric, picking at his cuticles. He shrugs. "Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you are already. So I expect—"

"_Rankings?"_ asks the mousy-haired Erudite girl to my right. "Why are we ranked?"

Eric smiles, and in the blue light, his smile looks wicked, like it was cut into his face with a knife.

"Your ranking serves two purposes," he says. "The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few _desirable_ positions available."

My stomach tightens. I know by looking at his smile, like I knew the second I entered the aptitude test room, that something bad is about to happen.

"The second purpose," he says, "is that only the top ten initiates are made members."

Pain stabs my stomach. We all stand still as statues. And then Christina says, _"What?"_

"There are eleven Dauntless-borns, and nine of you," Eric continues. "Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."

That means that even if we make it through each stage of initiation, six initiates will not be members. I see Peter and Molly look at me from the corner of my eye, but I can't look back at them. My eyes are fixed on Eric and will not move.

My odds as an Abnegation transfer, are not good.

"What do we do if we're cut?" Peter says.

"You leave the Dauntless compound," says Eric indifferently, "and live factionless."

The mousy-haired girl clamps her hand over her mouth and stifles a sob. Instead of crying, like the Erudite girl, I feel colder. Harder. Braver. I will make it through this thing, if I become factionless Marcus will find me, and kill me.

I will be a member. I will.

"But that's…not fair!" Molly says. Even though she sounds angry, she looks terrified. "If we had _known_—"

"Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward."

Eric pushes the door to the dormitory open.

"You chose us," he says. "Now we have to choose you."

I lie in bed and listen to nine people breathing.

I have never slept in the same room as a boy before, but here I have no other option, unless I want to sleep in the hallway. Everyone else changed into the clothes the Dauntless provided for us, but I sleep in my under wear, its too hot to wear that and I'm too stressed to care about what they think.

I used to have my own room. I wasn't allowed to leave, it was a prison cell. I am used to sleeping in silence.

Heat swells behind my eyes as I think of leaving this place, I cover my mouth to stifle a sob. He cant find me, I wont leet him.

I can't cry, not here. I have to calm down.

It will be all right here. I can look at my reflection whenever I want. I can befriend Peter and Molly, and cut my hair short, and let other people clean up their own messes.

My hands shake and the tears come faster now, blurring my vision.

It doesn't matter that on Visiting Day, Marcus will come, he will barely recognize me—all the better. It doesn't matter that I ache at even a split-second memory of his face. I think of the look on eveyones face as I removed my acket, then I thought they were shocked by me taking off a acket. But now I know its because of the bruises on my arms and neck. I match my inhales to the inhales of the other initiates, and my exhales to their exhales. It doesn't matter.

A strangled sound interrupts the breathing, followed by a heavy sob. Bed springs squeal as a large body turns, and a pillow muffles the sobs, but not enough. They come from the bunk next to Molly's—they belong to a Candor boy, Al, the largest and broadest of all the initiates. He is the last person I expected to break down.

I should comfort him.I feel disgust. Someone who looks so strong shouldn't act so weak. Why can't he just keep his crying quiet like the rest of us?

I swallow hard.

If my mother knew what I was thinking, I know what look she would give me. The corners of her mouth turned down. Her eyebrows set low over her eyes—not scowling, almost tired. I drag the heel of my hand over my cheeks.

Al sobs again. I almost feel the sound grate in my own throat. He is not that far from me—I should touch him.

No. I put my hand down and roll onto my side, facing the wall. No one has to know that I don't want to help him. I can keep that secret buried. My eyes shut and I feel the pull of sleep, but every time I come close, I hear Al again.

Maybe my problem isn't that he will find me.

My problem might be that even if he didn't find me, I would always live in fear that he would.

The thought makes me grit my teeth. I gather the pillow around my ears to block out Al's crying, and fall asleep with a circle of moisture pressed to my cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

Four passes me and puts a gun in my hand and I smile like a mad woman. I never thought I would ever hold a gun, but here I am. I often dreamed of one though, shooting Marcus in his stomach so that his guts splatter. I point at the target and I shoot, right past the head, trimming a bit of the ear. Eric comes past me and I stiffen, he stands behind me and he helps me adjust my gun. "Calm down. Chill," I slouch at his command and he smiles. He smells nice, he smells like -I cant describe it as anything else- a man. He holds me gently against him and I feel safe. "Right, so the best way to ensure that you hit the target is to power the gun you're holding. It doesn't help to fire an empty gun, even if there are bullets in there you need to fill it. with emotion, a strong one." I look at him and he looks so calm, it bothers me. "Like anger, hatred, revenge or….if you like….." he whispers, "Love or passion." He pulls the trigger of the gun I'm holding and it shoots in the chest. he smiles at me and I smile back, maybe he knows that the feeling in my stomach is a mix of fear and happiness, maybe he knows I might have a tiny bit of a crush on him. Maybe this is his way of saying he has a girlfriend, or he likes me back. Maybe, _just maybe,_ I'm complicating this all in my head. He walks on and stands at the door to observe me, the whole class. I focus, that doll is Marcus. I fire three shots and I dont miss once. Three, in his chest. I lower the gun and smile. The class is silent, a good response as far as I'm concerned. Nobody is shooting anymore, they are all just looking at me in awe. My hand shoots straight up in the air and Four walks over to me with a groan. Everybody is watching as I whisper, "Did I do something wrong?" he shakes his head and I look over at Eric, the smile on his face indicates he's happy. I go one shooting like nothing just happened and everybody else follows my lead.

By the time we break for lunch, my arms throb from holding up the gun and my fingers are hard to straighten. I massage them on my way to the dining hall. Eric looks at me every few minutes and I try to look away when he does.

I move my peas around with my fork, and my thoughts drift back to the aptitude tests.

"Oh, come on. What's the secret?" Peter asks me as he makes a sandwich. "How are you so amazing? Are you like….an angel or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous, it was a stroke of luck," i reply. "It was just-"

"No, that was the the first time you've touched a gun, right?"

"Well, yeah but that-"

"Victoria," says Eric from behind me and I flinch. He moved without me noticing.

"mmmm?"

"I just wanted to know if you took a look at the score board," he says and I shake my head, he points at the screen in front of the hall, I see my name on top. Wow.

I stare at him. He looks at me with a smile, "Congratulations." I manage a smile and he pats me on the back and looks away.

"Whoa, congrats Ace" Peter says with a smile and I go back to eating. Ace is the nickname everybody calls me now.

"Can I sit here?" says Eric, tapping the table with his finger.

"Why?" says Molly.

"I just want to watch her," he indicates to me but I take no notice. "Everything she does makes her who she is, tell me, why are you so angry?" he asks me and I shrug.

"I'm not angry." I say, and he lets out a short laugh.

"Are you sure? Its your privacy but if you can fire a gun like that then you feel something strong, anger or hatred." He pauses, "Love or passion." He raises an eyebrow, typical Erudite. "Well, I am not angry, I don't hate anyone. What would I have a passion for and I am not in love." My cheeks burn bright red and he smiles.

"Alright, So why are you so tense?" Molly and Peter are both quietly watching us in conversation. They're both afraid of him, and so am I. even if his smell is attracting and he makes me feel anxious. "I'm not tense at all." I reply and he moves closer to me and I want to bury my head in his chest and just breath in his scent.

"Then why are you sitting so straight? Like someone made you swallow a stick." Marcus _used to_ hit me with a stick, my eyes sting with tears but I stop them.

"This is the way I always sit." I lie easily

"Don't lie, I saw you sit up straight when I sat down." I look at him and try to blink back the tears. He sees them, "NO, no. don't…please….dont." he says and I stare at him with cold eyes. "Come with me." He says and I get up. Peter just looks at us but he keeps quiet. We pass Edward and Myra, the other Erudite transfers, sit two tables away, the sit so close they bump elbows as they cut their food. Myra pauses to kiss Edward. I watch them carefully. I've only seen a few kisses in my life.

Edward turns his head and presses his lips to Myra's. Air hisses between my teeth, and I look away. Part of me waits for them to be scolded. Another part wonders, with a touch of desperation, what it would feel like to have someone's lips against mine.

"Do they have to be so _public_?" I say.

"She just kissed him." Eric frowns at me. When he frowns, his thick eyebrows touch his eyelashes. "It's not like they're stripping naked."

"so, A kiss is something you do in public?"

He nods and gives me a knowing smile.

"What?" I say.

"Nothing." He says but I can see he's lying.

"Oh." I shrug. "Well…I guess I'll have to get over it, then."

"Do you have a tattoo yet?," he asks me, his green eyes glinting with mischief. The word _yet_ catches my attention. "NO, I don't really want one right now. But maybe something else?" he nods and we spend the rest of the time walking around shops. We walk past the clothing shops and I feel like going in and looking around. But we finally reach the piercing store. I want a piercing. A lot of them. once my ears are pierced several times and we have matching earrings ("Did you really like my earrings? Because this is where I got them." he said.) he left me to shop around.

After lunch, I enter the training room and from there I follow the group to a new rom. It's huge, with a wood floor that is cracked and creaky and has a large circle painted in the middle. On the left wall is a green board—a chalkboard. My Lower Levels teacher used one, but I haven't seen one since then. Maybe it has something to do with Dauntless priorities: training comes first, technology comes second.

Our names are written on the board in alphabetical order. Hanging at three-foot intervals along one end of the room are faded black punching bags.

We line up behind them and Four stands in the middle, where we can all see him.

"As I said this morning," says Four, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges—which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless." He notices my earrings and ust continues walking with a twisted look on his face. Life as a dauntless is going to be great, I'm sure I'll get more piercings, tattoos, a new haircut and I've never gone shopping before but it should be fun.

"We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other," says Four. "So I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt."

Four names a few different punches, demonstrating each one as he does, first against the air and then against the punching bag.

I catch on as we practice.I need a few tries to figure out how to hold myself and how to move my body to make it look like his. The kicks are more difficult, though he only teaches us the basics. The punching bag stings my hands and feet, turning my skin red, and barely moves no matter how hard I hit it. All around me is the sound of skin hitting tough fabric.

Four wanders through the crowd of initiates, watching us as we go through the movements again. When he stops in front of me, my insides twist like someone's stirring them with a fork. He stares at me, his eyes following my body from my head to my feet, not lingering anywhere—a practical, scientific gaze. Then he moves on. Eric walks past and mumbles something that sounds a lot like, "use anger." So I do. I hit the bag with all my might and let out a war cry as I do. My skin breaks open and there is blood on the punching bag, but I don't care. My bag swings a little and it's a huge accomplishment for me.

Suddenly he presses a hand to my stomach. His hands are cold against my hot skin. My heart pounds so hard my chest hurts, and I stare at him, wide-eyed.

"all of your power comes from here," he says in a quiet voice. "Don't waste your energy on moves that are strong but worthless. Use your core." He whispers in my ear and I sniff in his scent.

he lifts his hand and keeps walking. It's strange, but I have to stop and breathe for a few seconds before I can keep practicing again.

When Four dismisses us for dinner, Molly nudges me with her elbow.

"where did you guys go after lunch?" she says. She wrinkles her nose. " I wouldn't have gone with him. He scares the hell out of me."

"Yeah. He's…" I look over my shoulder at him. He's handsome and kind, he smells good and he makes me feel safe. He is strong and confident but I wasn't afraid that he would hurt me. "…definitely scary," I finally say. I turn to Peter and Molly, "I want to go shopping". Molly smiles excitadly and Peter, he smiles and turns to go to the hall. Apparently shopping is a girl thing. The first thing we do is stop by the hair dresser and Molly dies her hair from blonde to bright blue and I run my fingers in my hair. It hasn't been cut since I was ten so it was around my hips. My beautiful, dark hair was all I had left of who I used to be. But I am half her and half me. I thought about it. "Um…..can I please have a shave? Um, but I only want half of it gone." I say and the lady nods. So with my new hair style I walk off proudly to the clothing stores. I bought many, many, _many_ items and then we were off to the make up store. Then, when Mollly decided she wanted to get her ears pierced, we ran to the piercing store where I got a tongue ring and my nose pierced.

She gives me a look.

"what more can we do? I've cut my hair" I say, "and dyed it a strange color and pierced my face."

"How about your bellybutton?" she says.

"Or your nipple?" the piercing guy says with a snort.

I groan.

Now that training is done for the day, we can do whatever we want until it's time to sleep. The idea makes me feel almost giddy, although that might be from fatigue. "tattoos!" she says excitedly and I smile. "Lets first go show Peter, we can do that tomorrow." She nods and we walk back to the beds. I changedin one of the stores from my old clothes. Now, I wore a shirt that showed my stomach. It was black on it was the word Ace. My tight eans made my butt look….hot… and the black, spicky heels I wore made me even taller. As I entered, the whole room silenced and they looked at me. "Whoa." I heard from Will, this cute Erudite boy in the bed next to mine. "Oooh." And "Ah" could be heard as Molly and I walked over to our beds. "You don't look so stiff anymore." Albert, a guy, said behind me and I slapped him in the face. "I am not a stiff. I never have been and I never will be. My name is Ace. Its written on my boobs, if you didn't notice you must be gay." I said and continued making my bed. He looked at me and nodded. Will looked at me and his erection was obvious. He tried to say something but couldn't. I winked, and sat on the floor. Starting t pack my clothing in the badside tables they gave us. My shoes all lined up underneath my bed and the rest of my clothes fit there. Started taking ou t my earrings. And putting them on the table. I stripped into my undies and got into bed. "If any of you, so much as touch me I will break your face." I said loudly and went to sleep. No tears, no sobs, no doubt. I belonged here and Marcus was _never_ going to find me. But I hope he would, because then, I'll kill him.


	4. Chapter 4

After dinner we entered the training room so we could see the ratings for stag one so far, no surprise of the numbers.

Ace

Edward

Peter

Will

Christina

Molly

Tris

Drew

Al

10. Myra

I am a natural, I belong here. Edward has studied hand-to- hand combat since he was ten. Peter beat his fair amount of guys. Will was pretty good. Christina is stronger than she looks. Molly deserves her place. Tris, I'm starting to doubt that she doesn't belong here. Even if she did cut it a bit fine. Drew is weak and needs to learn to stand on his own feet. Al is trying to lose and Myra, well, Myra is just herself.

I glance at Peter. He tilts his head and frowns at the board. He isn't the only one. The quiet in the room is uneasy, like it is rocking back and forth on a ledge.

Then it falls.

"What?" demands Edward. "Second? _Second?_ I am not second."

"Yeah, you are." Peter reminds him

"You," he says, focusing his narrowed eyes on me. "_You_ are going to pay for this."

Edward has anger that burns quickly, he turned and left. If he had hit me now, that would all be gone. Gone in seconds. But now he's left, that is so much worse.

Molly didn't say anything when the rankings went up, which, given her tendency to complain about anything that doesn't go her way, is surprising. She just walks to her bunk and sits down, untying her shoelaces. That makes me feel even more uneasy. she can't possibly be satisfied with sixth place. Not Molly.

Will and Christina slap hands, and then Will claps me on the back with a hand bigger than my shoulder blade.

They leave and I'm left alone in front of the board. Ace. _Ace._ "Why is your name Ace?" A voice in my head, my mothers, asks me. "I'm first." I whisper and walk towards the board. I hear Fours voice, "That's so cool,". no, not fours. Tobias's voice, there is a distinct difference. I miss Tobias and I hardly know four. A tear runs down my cheek and my fingers go over my name on the board. Impossible, I'm a stiff. " No, you aren't." I hear my own voice, "You aren't a stiff, you never have been and you never will be." She says and I feel tears pour over my face. I'm Marcus's sociopath daughter who screams at chairs. No, I'm not. I can possibly be first, I'm just Victoria. "_No!_ My name is Ace." My voice screams loudly. She's right, my name is Ace, not Victoria, unfortunately I know the initiates well enough. Its easy to see that I'm a target, I cant let my guard down, constant vigilance.

That night my dreams wonder to Marcus, the blonde girl sits, tied in a chair. Marcus comes in, smirks at me, smiles at her and takes out his belt. He hits her and she screams for help. I try to start towards her, I'm afraid of Marcus but watching someone else, someone who cant handle it, in my chair is worse than being in the chair. But I cant, there is a glass wall in front of me and I cant break it. I scream and cry but nothing happens. Then I decide it's best to take in a deep breath, when I do I smell something familiar, I smell rain and spring time. Edward. I open my eyes slowly. He sits next to my bed holding a butter knife and then I feel it. it starts small but he is stabbing me. Lightly prodding one of my bruises, as if to scared to touch me or maybe he just noticed that a butter knife wont work well as a weapon. I decide to have a bit of fun. I make a noise and startle him, then I curl up in a ball and whisper, "But I love you Edward, don't leave me." He screams silently. Then he goes back to bed. I smirk to myself. The dormitory used to seem loud to me, with all the breathing, but now it is too quiet. It annoys me immensely, but I have grown to love it. Thank God the Dauntless compound is usually loud.

If anyone was Dauntless, why would they choose Abnegation? Did they love its peace, its routine, its goodness, its perfection—all the things I hated about it?

I bury my face in the pillow. Why would anybody want to leave here? Its loud, chaotic and we get to have fun. Why would anyone leave? I sigh. This is ridiculous, I am thinking about things that don't matter. What do I care if someone left? Look at what I've done, I've created a marathon of questions in my mind, each ready for the answer. Now they swirl in my head, and I doubt I'll be able to sleep until I can answer them.

I hear a scuffle across the room and lift my head from the pillow. My eyes aren't adjusted to the dark, so I stare into black. I hear shuffling and the squeak of a shoe. A heavy thud.

And then a wail that curdles my blood and makes my hair stand on end. I throw the blankets back and stand on the stone floor with bare feet. I still can't see well enough to find the source of the scream, but I see a dark lump on the floor a few bunks down. Another scream pierces my ears.

"Turn on the lights!" someone shouts.

I walk toward the sound, slowly so I don't trip over anything. I feel like I'm in a trance. I don't want to see where the screaming is coming from. A scream like that can only mean blood and bone and pain; that scream that comes from the pit of the stomach and extends to every inch of the body.

I turn on the lights.

Edward lies on the floor next to his bed, clutching at his face. Surrounding his head is a halo of blood, and jutting between his clawing fingers is a silver knife handle. My heart thumping in my ears, I recognize it as the butter knife. The blade is stuck in Edward's eye.

Myra, who stands at Edward's feet, screams. Someone else screams too, and someone yells for help, and Edward is still on the floor, writhing and wailing. If I don't leave my vomit is going to spread all over the floor. I can already feel it and lots of people look at me suspiciously, I covered my mouth with my hand to stop the vomit. I head out to the hall and overlook the situation. I think about for a while, breath in. in. out. In. out. Once I feel better I turn and enter the room.

When I look around, I see that only two faces are missing.

Drew.

And Peter.

After they take Edward away, I get into bed and stare at Will in the bed next to mine. We stare at each other. He looks as afraid as I am. "I'm scared." I whisper. And he opens his blanket to show me something. "same. There's enough space." He whispers and I get out of bed and get into his. He is warm and he makes me feel safe. We're both super tired and super comfortable. We both feel safer. But neither of us can close our eyes for more than a few minutes. We don't talk, There isn't much to say.

Tris and Christina scrub the floor.

No one sleeps much that night.

We have a day off today; I wish we didn't. I need something to keep me occupied, something I can use my anger one. I am scared and I only feel safe with the things I've smelt. I grow attached to them easily because at Marcus's house I never smelt anything except him, cinnamon and sweat, and his leather belt. Everything else smelt the same. But now my comforts are the smells that make me feel safe. I like the smell of Man, I like the smell of Eric. The smell of metals and chemicals make me feel safe, Will makes me feel safe. The smell of spices and herbs used to comfort me, now I am afraid because I know that Peter did it. And i am probably next. And with that positive thought, I head over to the cafeteria. To eat cake. And be in peace. And to daydream of things. I would go train if I could but they've declared that the training room is off limits. "This is going to sound weird," Will says, "but I wish we didn't have a day off today."

I nod.

I just cant talk at the moment. All I can do is scream, and I know that if I open my mouth the screams of my past of my memories and of what I saw will explode out of me all at once.

I slide one fingernail under another. I had not come anywhere near Edward's blood, but I still feel like it's on my hands. Will, Tris and I walk with no sense of purpose. There is nowhere to go.

"We could visit him," suggests Will. "But what would we say? 'I didn't know you that well, but I'm sorry you got stabbed in the eye'?" I nod silently while Tris starts to laugh, I could laugh too. Laugh, or cry. I know that laughing is easier right now but I'm still afraid of the screams that will pour out of my mouth as I open it. Will stares at her for a second, and then he laughs too.

"Sorry," she says. "It's just so ridiculous."

I don't want to cry for Edward—at least not in the deep, personal way that you cry for a friend or loved one. I want to cry because something terrible happened, and I saw it, and I know that I'm next. No one who would want to punish Peter has the authority to, and no one who has the authority to punish him would want to. The Dauntless have rules against attacking someone like that, I suspect those rules go unenforced.

She says, more seriously, "The most ridiculous part is, in any other faction it would be brave of us to tell someone what happened. But here…in _Dauntless_…bravery won't do us any good."

"Have you ever read the faction manifestos?" says Will.

The faction manifestos were written after the factions formed. We learned about them in school, but I never read them.

"You have?" I frown at him. Then I remember that Will once memorized a map of the city for fun, and she says, "Oh. Of course _you_ have. Never mind."

"One of the lines I remember from the Dauntless manifesto is, 'We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.'"

Will sighs.

He doesn't need to say anything else. I know what he means. Maybe Dauntless was formed with good intentions, with the right ideals and the right goals. But it has strayed far from them. And the same is true of Erudite, I realize. A long time ago, Erudite pursued knowledge and ingenuity for the sake of doing good. Now they pursue knowledge and ingenuity with greedy hearts. I wonder if the other factions suffer from the same problem. I have not thought about it before.

I don't care if Dauntless has strayed far from what they wanted. I belong here, whether it is what they wanted it to be or its not. Whether it changed or not. Its clear to me that I love it here and no one, _no one_, was going to make me leave.

"Let's go to the cafeteria," Will says, "and eat cake."

"Okay." she smiles.

As we walk toward the Pit, I repeat the line Will quoted to myself so I don't forget it.

_I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another._

It is a beautiful thought.

Later, when I return to the dormitory, Edward's bunk is stripped clean and his drawers are open, empty. Across the room, Myra's bunk looks the same way.

I look over at my bunk and on my pillow is the card I left for peter. 'I swear to God, I didn't do it.' I sigh. Al was supposed to get cut, but Edward's departure saved him. The Dauntless decided to spare him until the next stage.

"Who else got cut?" I say.

Christina shrugs again. "Two of the Dauntless-born. I don't remember their names."

I nod and look at the blackboard. Someone drew a line through Edward and Myra's names, and changed the numbers next to everyone else's names. Now I am first. Peter is second. And the killer? I don't know who it is anymore. When I saw the card I was frightened, I knew it had a message on but I thought it would say something like, 'you're next.' We started stage one with eleven initiates.

Now we have nine.

IT'S NOON. LUNCHTIME.

I walk out of the cafeteria and walk down the hall way to the training room, if its locked I'll find Eric, he'll open it for me; he has to. If he doesn't I might just break the face of every other intiate, except Will, starting with Peter. Will makes me feel safe. It may be my imagination, but it still smells like blood in the dormitory, even though Tris scrubbed the floor until her hands were sore, and someone poured bleach on it this morning.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Scrubbing the floor is so stiff, does she really not understand the more stiff she is, the more Stiff they think we all are. _Were._ They all think we _were_. Gratitude burns in my chest and I try not to feel guilty about thinking what she did was wrong.

I hear someone approaching, their footsteps echoing on the stone floor, and I look down at my shoes. I switched from grey sneakers to black Boots in the time we've been here. Another thing I changed, its part of my identity now, like Ace. I've changed my name, appearance, attitude, thoughts, actions, I've changed a lot of things. The only thing I haven't changed is my feelings for my brother, Tobias; not four. Four is not my brother, he's my trainer. He isn't Victoria's brother either, her brothers name is Tobias. he has light brown hair and blue eyes. He doesn't have tattoos or piercings or cuts on his hands. He doesn't throw knives and he doesn't fire guns. Ace is not Tobias's sister. His sister's name is Victoria. She has dark black hair and bright green eyes. She doesn't have tattoos, or piercings, she has a full head of hair. She isn't top of her class, she isn't good at fighting, she doesn't have scabs on her knuckles, she doesn't fire guns, she has never wanted kissed anyone before. _She_ doesn't like Eric, _she_ doesn't have a tattoo behind her ear dedicated to him. But _Ace _does, _I _do. She isn't a Dauntless initiate, she stayed in abnegation. I left her behind.

I look up. Four stops in front of me. He grabs my arm, "Come with me." He whispers and I nod. We walk at a fast pace down the hallway. "Where are we going?" I ask and stop as he leads me to an unknown hallway. He pulls me arm. "When I was an initiate, I followed some guys out of the compound, there I met a few of the dauntless-born initiates. They have this tradition, and you're just like them, so lets go." He pulls again.

"Why?" he gives me a look that suggests I should trust him. I shouldn't. Ace shouldn't, Victoria shouldn't. Victoria doesn't trust Four, she only trusts Tobias. And Ace doesn't trust anyone, not after what happened to Edward. I shake my head, "C'mon, I'm actually afraid of it. It took all my courage to come and get you." He says. I suppose if he's afraid of it I will be too, or I wont be. Then I can beat him, Tobias and Victoria used to be very competitive. I bet that Ace and Four could be too. He reads my mind, "I'll beat you there." He says and starts running, I smile and follow him. How bad could it be? I mean, really. i follow him without thinking. I hear the rattling of the train, I see the headlight and the train blares. "We're going to jump on and off of trains? Seriously? I've done this before, it was fun but if you don't mind I have to go and…." He raises his eyebrow,

"Mope? Cry? Sulk? And jumping on and off the train is not the fun part. C'mon trust your brother." We start jogging and once we're both on the train I say, "I doubt there's anything more fun than jumping off a train, unless we're going to go fire guns." He smiles. "More fun than that, little Sis. More fun than that." I roll my eyes, "You are not my brother, I don't have one." I say and look away. "Oh, c'mon Vict-"

"I am not Victoria, I'm Ace. Just like you aren't Tobias. I'm not the scared, little abnegation child who let Marcus bully her. I am Ace, a dauntless intitate." He puts his hand out,

"I'm not Tobias, I'm Four. I am not the abused abnegation boy you knew, I am Four, a Dauntless trainer. Nice to meet you." I shake his hand. "The pleasure is all mine." We both smile and sit in silence.

"The only initiates they usually let come are ones with older siblings in Dauntless," he says. "But they might not even notice. Just act like you belong."

"What exactly are we doing?"

"Something dangerous," he says. A look I can only describe as Dauntless mania enters his eyes, I catch it, like it's contagious. Excitement replaces the leaden feeling inside me. We slow when we reach the Dauntless-born initiates.

"What's the _Stiff_ doing here?" asks a boy with a metal ring between his nostrils. Four looks at me in approval. I grab the boy by his shirt and raise my other hand next to my head, In a fist. "if you want a stiff go and find Tris because I am not a stiff; I never have been and I never will be." I punch him in the face, "Got it?" he nods as blood pours from his nose. I turn and see Uriah, "Badass." He says to Four and i. He nods and I smile, embarrassed. Uriah's eyes narrow as he looks at Four and I, "you guys look similar and you're a bit like Four. What's your surname?" we look at each other, "um…..i cant remember it, I was locked in an asylum back at abnegation." I say and he looks shocked, but understanding. And Four nods, as if not able to say anything.

We turn another corner, and a group of members stands at the end of the next hallway. There are too many of them to all be related to a Dauntless-born initiate, but I see some similarities among the faces.

The train picks up its speed. Four and I sit against one of the walls.

I shout over the wind, "Where are we going?"

Uriah shrugs. "Zeke never told me."

"Zeke?"

"My older brother," he says. He points across the room at a boy sitting in the doorway with his legs dangling out of the car. He is slight and short and looks nothing like Uriah, apart from his coloring.

"You don't get to know. That ruins the surprise!" the girl on my left shouts. She extends her hand. "I'm Shauna."

I shake her hand, but I don't grip hard enough and I let go too quickly. I doubt I will ever improve my handshake. It feels unnatural to grasp hands with strangers.

"I'm—" I start to say.

"I know who you are," she says. "You're the Ace. Eric told me about you."

I pray the heat in my cheeks is not visible. "Oh? What did he say?"

She smirks at me. "He said you were a good fighter and I should stay out of your way. Why do you ask?"

"If someone is talking about me," I say, as firmly as I can, "I want to know what he's saying." I hope I tell a convincing lie. "He isn't coming, is he?"

"He never comes to this," she says. "It's probably lost its appeal."

He isn't coming. Something in me deflates like an untied balloon. I ignore it and nod. I'm glad he isn't coming though; at least now I can just chill with my brother. "Four usually avoids this too." she looks at me and I shrug. If there's one thing I know, it's that Four isn't very busy, when we were kids I was always the thrill seeker, I still am I suppose. I do remember that I did get him to try a few things but I would never try when it involved heights, I knew it was battle that I couldn't win. Whatever we're doing, it must involve being high up for him to avoid it. She must not know that if she speaks of him with such reverence in her voice.

"Do you know Eric well?" I ask. I am too curious; I always have been.

"Everyone knows Eric," she says. "We were initiates together. I was bad at fighting, and whenever he could he would avoid fighting me. At first I was offended that he thought I wasn't good enough, but then I saw that he's opponents beg for mercy" She scratches the back of her neck, her expression suddenly serious. "Nice of him." We have more in common than I thought.

She gets up and stands behind the members sitting in the doorway. In a second, her serious expression is gone, but I still feel rattled by what she said, half confused by the idea of Eric being "nice" and half wanting to punch her for no apparent reason.

"Here we go!" shouts Shauna. The train doesn't slow down, but she throws herself out of the car. The other members follow her, a stream of black-clothed, pierced people not much older than I am. I stand in the doorway next to Four. The train is going much faster than it has every other time I've jumped, but I can't lose my nerve now, in front of all these members. So I jump, hitting the ground hard and stumbling forward a few steps before I regain my balance.

Four and I jog to catch up to the members, along with the other initiates, who barely look in my direction.

I look around as I walk. The Hub is behind us, black against the clouds, but the buildings around me are dark and silent. That means we must be north of the bridge, where the city is abandoned.

We turn a corner and spread out as we walk down Michigan Avenue. South of the bridge, Michigan Avenue is a busy street, crawling with people, but here it is bare.

As soon as I lift my eyes to scan the buildings, I know where we're going: the empty Hancock building, a black pillar with crisscrossed girders, the tallest building north of the bridge.

But what are we going to do? Climb it?

As we get closer, the members start to run, and Four and I sprint to catch them. Jostling one another with their elbows, they push through a set of doors at the building's base. The glass in one of them is broken, so it is just a frame. I step through it instead of opening it and follow the members through an eerie, dark entryway, crunching broken glass beneath my feet.

I expect us to go up the stairs, but we stop at the elevator bank.

"Do the elevators work?" I ask Uriah, as quietly as I can.

"Sure they do," says Zeke, rolling his eyes. "You think I'm stupid enough not to come here early and turn on the emergency generator?"

"Yeah," says Uriah. "I kinda do."

Zeke glares at his brother, then puts him in a headlock and rubs his knuckles into Uriah's skull. Zeke may be smaller than Uriah, but he must be stronger. Or at least faster. Uriah smacks him in the side, and he lets go.

I grin at the sight of Uriah's dishevelled hair, and the elevator doors open. We pile in, members in one and initiates in the other. A girl with a shaved head stomps on my toes on the way in and doesn't apologize. I grab my foot, wincing, and consider kicking her in the shins. Uriah stares at his reflection in the elevator doors and pats his hair down.

"What floor?" the girl with the shaved head says.

"One hundred," I say.

"How would _you_ know that?"

"Lynn, come on," says Uriah. "Be nice."

"We're in a one-hundred-story abandoned building with some Dauntless," I retort. "Why don't _you_ know that?" Four smiles at me in approval.

She doesn't respond. She just jams her thumb into the right button.

The elevator zooms upward so fast my stomach sinks and my ears pop. I grab a railing at the side of the elevator, watching the numbers climb. We pass twenty, and thirty, and Uriah's hair is finally smooth. Four is holding on tightly to my arm to steady himself. He looks calm but I can see he's afraid. I knew it was heights. His eyes are wide and his breathing pattern is mixed up, Fast, slow, fast, slow. Fifty, sixty, and my toes are done throbbing. Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, and the elevator comes to a stop at one hundred. I'm glad we didn't take the stairs.

"I wonder how we'll get to the roof from…" Uriah's voice trails off.

A strong wind hits me, pushing my hair across my face. There is a gaping hole in the ceiling of the hundredth floor. Zeke props an aluminium ladder against its edge and starts to climb. The ladder creaks and sways beneath his feet, but he keeps climbing, whistling as he does. When he reaches the roof, he turns around and holds the top of the ladder for the next person.

Part of me wonders if this is a suicide mission disguised as a game.

It isn't the first time I've wondered that since the Choosing Ceremony.

I climb the ladder with a mad grin and I hear four's voice, "Be careful." He says and I roll my eyes and my foot slips off the ladder for a second but I put back and he breaths out heavily. _Stupid._

Biting my lip, I make it to the top and stand on the roof of the Hancock building.

The wind is so powerful I hear and feel nothing else. I have to lean against Uriah to keep from falling over, which he seems to be quite happy about. At first, all I see is the marsh, wide and brown and everywhere, touching the horizon, devoid of life. In the other direction is the city, and in many ways it is the same, lifeless and with limits I do not know.

Uriah points to something. Attached to one of the poles on top of the tower is a steel cable as thick as my wrist. On the ground is a pile of black slings made of tough fabric, large enough to hold a human being. Zeke grabs one and attaches it to a pulley that hangs from the steel cable.

I follow the cable down, over the cluster of buildings and along Lake Shore Drive. I don't know where it ends. One thing is clear, though: If I go through with this, I'll find out.

We're going to slide down a steel cable in a black sling from one thousand feet up.

"Oh my God," says Uriah.

All I can do is nod. And I feel Four clutch my arm, "Four, why don't you go first. Show us how its done." Uriah says and I look at him, he shakes his head and opens his mouth to say something but I beat him to it. "No, Four is hurt." They look at me like I'm crazy, "You know, he was standing behind a guys punching bag and it hurt him." They nod and it looks like they believe me. "And besides, I wanna go first." I say loudly and Four nods. "I'm just here because I caught her on her way here and I wanted to see if she could actually do it." he says and they smile. I do want to go first, I want to not know where it's going, for it just to take me there. For the wind to blow me there.

I am the first person to get in the sling. i wriggle forward on my stomach until most of my body is supported by black fabric. Then Zeke pulls a strap across my shoulders, the small of my back, and the top of my thighs. He pulls me, in the sling, to the edge of the building and counts down from five. "Don't worry," Zeke says right next to my ear. He takes my arm and helps me get in, facedown.

"Ready, intiate?" Zeke smirks down at me. "I have to say, I'm impressed that you aren't screaming and crying right now."

"I told you," Uriah says. "She's Dauntless through and through. Now get on with it."

"Careful, brother, or I might not tighten your straps enough," Zeke says. He smacks his knee. "And then, _splat_!"

"Yeah, yeah," Uriah says. "And then our mother would boil you alive."

"Only if she found out." Zeke tugs on the pulley attached to the steel cable. It holds, which is fortunate, because if it breaks, my death will be swift and certain. The straps tighten around my midsection, and Zeke slides me forward, to the edge of the roof. I stare down the building's steel girders and black windows, all the way to the cracked sidewalk. I am a fool for doing this. And a fool for enjoying the feeling of my heart slamming against my sternum and sweat gathering in the lines of my palms.

I forget him, I forget Uriah, and family, and all the things that could malfunction and lead to my death. I hear metal sliding against metal and feel wind so intense it forces tears into my eyes as I hurtle toward the ground.

I feel like I am without substance, without weight. Ahead of me the marsh looks huge, its patches of brown spreading farther than I can see, even up this high. The air is so cold and so fast that it hurts my face. I pick up speed and a shout of exhilaration rises within me, stopped only by the wind that fills my mouth the second my lips part. I scream like a mad woman, again. I cheer and scream because I AM DAUNTLESS.

Held secure by the straps, I throw my arms out to the side and imagine that I am flying. I plunge toward the street, which is cracked and patchy and follows perfectly the curve of the marsh. I can imagine, up here, how the marsh looked when it was full of water, like liquid steel as it reflected the colour of the sky.

My heart beats so hard it hurts, and I can't laugh and I can't breathe, but I also feel everything, every vein and every fibre, every bone and every nerve, all awake and buzzing in my body as if charged with electricity. I am pure adrenaline.

The ground grows and bulges beneath me, and I can see the tiny people standing on the pavement below. I should scream, like any rational human being would, but when I open my mouth again, I just crow with joy. I yell louder, and the figures on the ground pump their fists and yell back, but they are so far away I can barely hear them.

I look down and the ground smears beneath me, all grey and white and black, glass and pavement and steel. Tendrils of wind, soft as hair, wrap around my fingers and push my arms back. I try to pull my arms to my chest again, but I am not strong enough. The ground grows bigger and bigger.

I don't slow down for another minute at least but sail parallel to the ground, like a bird.

When I slow down, I run my fingers over my hair. The wind teased it into knots. I hang about twenty feet above the ground, but that height seems like nothing now. I reach behind me and work to undo the straps holding me in. My fingers shake, but I still manage to loosen them. A crowd of members stands below. They grasp one another's arms, forming a net of limbs beneath me.

In order to get down, I have to trust them to catch me. I have to accept that these people are mine, and I am theirs. It is a braver act than sliding down the zip line.

I wriggle forward and fall. I hit their arms hard. Wrist bones and forearms press into my back, and then palms wrap around my arms and pull me to my feet. I don't know which hands hold me and which hands don't; I see grins and hear laughter, mine too. I see Four, grinning. I run to him and hug him, he hugs me back and kisses my head, he pets my hair and everybody looks at us like we're aliens. They must think we're dating, dear god, we're dead. "No, no, no. she's my sister. Calm down." The crowd laughs loudly and I am grateful they don't ask anymore questions.

"What'd you think?" Shauna says, clapping me on the shoulder.

"Um…" All the members stare at me. They look as windblown as I feel, the frenzy of adrenaline in their eyes and their hair askew. I know why my father said the Dauntless were a pack of madmen. He didn't—couldn't—understand the kind of camaraderie that forms only after you've all risked your lives together.

"When can I go again?" I say. My smile stretches wide enough to show teeth, and when they laugh, I laugh. I think of climbing the stairs with the Abnegation, our feet finding the same rhythm, all of us the same. This isn't like that. We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one.

I look toward the Hancock building, which is so far from where I stand that I can't see the people on its roof.

"Look! There he is!" someone says, pointing over my shoulder. I follow the pointed finger toward a small dark shape sliding down the steel wire. A few seconds later I hear a bloodcurdling scream.

"I bet he'll cry."

"Zeke's brother, cry? No way. He would get punched so hard."

"His arms are flailing!"

"He sounds like a strangled cat," Tris, who I only noticed now, says. Everyone laughs again. I feel a twinge of guilt for teasing Uriah when he can't hear me, but I would have said the same thing if he were standing here. I hope.

When Uriah finally comes to a stop, I follow the members to meet him. We line up beneath him and thrust our arms into the space between us. Shauna clamps a hand around my elbow. I grab another arm—I'm not sure who it belongs to, there are too many tangled hands—and look up at her.

"Told you I'm not Stiff." I say loudly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey Nicholas, and other readers. Its so cool that someone I know is reading this. I just wanted to say that none of my stuff is based on facts, so don't get hung up that she doesn't eat for a while. Wish Aniston good luck, he's going to ask a girl out tomorrow.**

**Kisses,**

**Charlotte**

I've took a shower and my hair is still wet. It's cold but my blood is hot and my body is still pumping with adrenaline. I walk into the cafeteria with Four and he goes to sit somewhere else while I go up to Peter. "I believe you." I say. And sit down next to him, he smiles and so do i. The cake he's eating looks good but my stomach is numb, I'm not hungry, I'm not full, I'm Dauntless. I choke on how ridiculous that sounds. I see Eric, on the other side of the room, as he spots me his eyes widen and he walks toward me.

I didn't think about him when I accepted Four's invitation. In a way, it is satisfying to see a stunned look on his face.

"Where were you?" asks Molly "What were you doing?" Eric says loudly. I am short of breath and open my mouth to say, 'flying' like I'm insane. But a gurgle just escapes my throat and I burst out laughing, I cant hold it in. I must seem so insane, maybe I am. My fit of giggles lasts for a few minutes then I look up at Eric. "We just had some fun, okay?" his eyes are bloodshot. "Did you get hurt?" I explode in another fit of giggles. And, because I cant say anything, I shake my head and he grabs my arm, taking me out of the hall like I'm in trouble. Four looks at us with wide eyes and he runs after us. We walk to the training room and I sit down on a chair as Four walks in.

"Is she in trouble?" Four asks.

"No, I just want to make sure she's ok." Eric replies, irritated.

"She's fine, I took her there."

"Where did you take her?" my eyes shift between the two of them.

"I took her to the elevator."

"The elevator? People die there! What gives you the right to take her there?" I get up.

"Eric, Four is my brother. I wanted to go." He looks at me and back at Four.

"He's your brother?" he asks and I nodded

"Last time I checked. And besides since when do you care that people die there? Didn't bother you when we went." Four says sternly.

"That's because when we went it was our lives we were endangering not others."

"Um, didn't you bully Lily into going."

"Yes, but that's different."

"How? How is it different?"

"I didn't care about lily, you munch." I stepped between them. "Eric, I wanted to go, he asked me if I wanted to and I did. So I went. Four, Eric is just worried."

"Why is he worried? Are you two…..-?" he trails off but we both know what he's asking.

Eric grips my waist without Four seeing. "No," I say

"then why does he care?'

"She is going to be a dauntless leader, she's first in her class and after what happened to Edward I don't want to lose all the good ones." Eric said. His words stung a little, but I knew he was either lying or it was for the best. Maybe he's kissed a lot of initiates. Maybe it's just me who felt something. But is it?

Four grabbed my wrist and dragged me out, on the way out I caught sight of my reflection, and my cheeks and eyes are both bright, my hair tangled. I look like I have experienced something powerful. I did. I go and sit next to Will, Christina and Tris, Tris and i both look like nut jobs. I feel tension here and I see asomething brewing in Christinas eyes

"Well, you missed Christina almost punching an Erudite," says Al. His voice sounds eager. I can count on Al to try to break the tension. "He was here asking for opinions about the Abnegation leadership, and Christina told him there were more important things for him to be doing.".

"Which she was completely right about," adds Will. "And he got testy with her. Big mistake."

"Huge," I nod. If I smile enough, maybe I can make them forget their jealousy, or hurt, or whatever is brewing behind Christina's eyes.

"Yeah," she says. "While you were off having fun, I was doing the dirty work of defending your old faction, eliminating interfaction conflict…"

"Come on, you know you enjoyed it," says Will, nudging her with his elbow. "If you're not going to tell the whole story, I will. He was standing…"

Will launches into his story, and I nod along like I'm listening, but all I can think about is staring down the side of the Hancock building, and the image I got of the marsh full of water, restored to its former glory. I look over Al's shoulder at the members, who are now flicking bits of food at one another with their forks. I want to do that. I want to have to watch corn and stuff out of my hair.

I _will_ survive the next stage of initiation.


	6. Chapter 6

AS FAR AS I can tell, the second stage of initiation involves sitting in a dark hallway with the other initiates, wondering what's going to happen behind a closed door.

Uriah sits across from me, with Marlene on his left and Lynn on his right. The Dauntless-born initiates and the transfers were separated during stage one, but we will be training together from now on. That's what Four told us before he disappeared behind the door. I think of yesterday, "Are you two…..?" I hear four's voice in my head. Are we….-? I stare into a corner of the room and move a little. I put my head on Wills shoulder, he smells like himself. Unfortunately that's all he smells like. No one here smells the way I want them to, none of them smell like Eric.

"So," says Lynn, scuffing the floor with her shoe. "Which one of you is ranked first, huh?"

Her question is met with silence at first, and then Peter clears his throat.

"Her." Peter says nodding in my direction, I am lost in my own thought.

"Bet I could take you." She says it casually, turning the ring in her eyebrow with her fingertips. "I'm second, but I bet any of us could take you, transfer."

The kids laugh. If I was still Abnegation, her comment would be rude and out of place, but among the Dauntless, challenges like that seem common. I am almost starting to expect them.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, if I were you. She fired right on, the first time she _touched_ a gun. She beat everyone in fighting and even while she had a black eye and her body was covered in bruises, she still got up and beat the shit out of Molly." Peter says, his eyes glittering. "Who's first?"

"Uriah," she says. "You know how many years we've spent preparing for this?"

If she intends to intimidate us, it works. I already feel colder.

Before Peter can respond, Four opens the door and says, "Lynn." He beckons to her, and she walks down the hallway, the blue light at the end making her bare head glow.

"So you're first," Will says to Uriah.

Uriah shrugs. "Yeah. And?"

"And you don't think it's a little unfair that you've spent your entire life getting ready for this, and we're expected to learn it all in a few weeks?" Will says, his eyes narrowing.

"Not really. Stage one was about skill, sure, but no one can prepare for stage two," he says. "At least, so I'm told."

No one responds to that. We sit in silence for twenty minutes. I count each minute on my watch. Then the door opens again, and Four calls another name.

"Peter," he says.

Each minute wears into me like a scrape of sandpaper. Gradually, our numbers begin to dwindle, and it's just me and Uriah. Uriah's fingers tap against his knee, and I try to sit perfectly still but I still tap my fingernails against the floor in rhythm with his fingers. I hear only muttering from the room at the end of the hallway, and I suspect this is another part of the game they like to play with us. Terrifying us at every opportunity.

The door opens, and Four beckons to me. "Ace."

I stand, my back sore from leaning against the wall for so long, and walk past the other initiates. Uriah sticks out his leg to trip me, but I hop over it at the last second.

Four touches my shoulder to guide me into the room and closes the door behind me.

When I see what's inside, I recoil immediately, my shoulders hitting his chest.

In the room is a reclining metal chair, similar to the one I sat in during the aptitude test. Beside it is a familiar machine. This room has no mirrors and barely any light. There is a computer screen on a desk in the corner.

"Sit," Four says. He squeezes my arms and pushes me forward.

"What's the simulation?" I say, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I don't succeed.

"Ever hear the phrase 'face your fears'?" he says. "We're taking that literally. The simulation will teach you to control your emotions in the midst of a frightening situation."

I touch a wavering hand to my forehead. Simulations aren't real; they pose no real threat to me, so logically, I shouldn't be afraid of them, but my reaction is visceral. It takes all the willpower I have for me to steer myself toward the chair and sit down in it again, pressing my skull into the headrest. The cold from the metal seeps through my clothes.

"Do you ever administer the aptitude tests?" I say. He seems qualified.

"No," he replies. "I avoid Stiffs as much as possible."

I don't know why someone would avoid the Abnegation. The Dauntless or the Candor, maybe, because bravery and honesty make people do strange things, but the Abnegation? I nod, I suppose it might be because if by chance he takes my test there'd be hell.

I feel him close to my neck. My body tenses. Is he trying to assure I'll be fine? No—he has to move my hair to the side. He taps something, and I tilt my head back to see what it is. Four holds a syringe with a long needle in one hand, his thumb against the plunger. The liquid in the syringe is tinted orange.

"We use a more advanced version of the simulation here," he says, "a different serum, no wires or electrodes for you."

"How does it work without wires?"

"Well, _I_ have wires, so I can see what's going on," he says. "But for you, there's a tiny transmitter in the serum that sends data to the computer."

"You'll," my voice wavers, "you'll be able to see in my head?" I say and I blink back tears. What if he sees something about Marcus, something about Victoria? What if I see Marcus? He turns my arm over and eases the tip of the needle into the tender skin on the side of my neck. A deep ache spreads through my throat. I wince and try to focus on his calm face.

"The serum will go into effect in sixty seconds. This simulation is different from the aptitude test," he says. "In addition to containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdala, which is the part of the brain involved in processing negative emotions—like fear—and then induces a hallucination. The brain's electrical activity is then transmitted to our computer, which then translates your hallucination into a simulated image that I can see and monitor. I will then forward the recording to Dauntless administrators. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down—that is, lower your heart rate and control your breathing."

I try to follow his words, but my thoughts are going haywire. I feel the trademark symptoms of fear: sweaty palms, racing heart, tightness in my chest, dry mouth, a lump in my throat, difficulty breathing. He plants his hands on either side of my head and leans over me.

"don't worry, its going to be okay." he whispers. "The first time is always the hardest." Oh if only he knew the doubts in my head right now.

His eyes are the last thing I see.

I open my eyes and he isn't there, neither is the machine, the room now has a mirror in it and I walk towards it, my hands brush over my reflection. It isn't mine, its Victoria's. i look, down and I'm wearing my old abnegation clothes again. I furrow my brows, is this what I'm afraid of? Being in abnegation. I turn and see Marcus, he smirks at my face and then he removes his belt, he picks it up to whip me and I cover my head to hide. My heart beats twice as fast and I cant control my breathing anymore. I hear a scream, it isn't mine. I recognize it though. I look beside me and there she is- the blonde girl form my dream, and next to her is Tobias tied in a chair. In his Abnegation clothes, the way he looked at his choosing ceremony. He screams, "Help! Help! Victoria!" I know that isn't my name but my voice hitches in my throat. I dive to tackle Marcus. But the glass wall, its right there. I hit my fists against it. "NO! Marcus! You coward! Coward!" I scream as my voice goes higher and higher pitched, becoming hoarse. "If you're angry hit me! ME ! Leave them Alone!" he smiles at me and opens the glass door. I cant move. He brings up his whip and hits me. I scream loudly in pain and I hear screams that don't belong to me. But I block them out. Being hit is better than watching someone be hit- especially if they cant handle the pain or if you love them. I hear the screams but they're screams of laughter. I open my eyes to see that I'm in the training room. Everybody is there and laughing at me. Its Four who is hitting me, he looks like he does now. Marcus tackles him and Gratitude, anger, happiness and irritation bubbled inside of me as the boys wrestled each other, rolling around and around. Not stopping. I screamed and screamed but they didn't hear me. This seemed like an awful lot of fears to face at once. Then Peter was there, he was bleeding. He kisses me and I scream again. He tastes of blood, mine and his. He smells like Edward and he's holding a knife, a butter knife.

I open my eyes, and I am sitting in the metal chair.

I scream loudly and trash to get Peter away from me, I scream and hit my arms and head and legs to get him off me, but he is gone, though I can still feel the ghost of him on top of me. I moan and pull my knees to my chest, burying my face in them.

A hand touches my shoulder, and I fling a fist out, hitting something solid but soft. "Don't touch me!" I sob.

"It's over," Four says. The hand shifts awkwardly over my hair, and I remember Four, hitting me while I was stuck in that chair.

"Ace."

I don't move.

"I'm going to take you back to the dorms, okay?"

"No!" I snap. I lift my head and glare at him, though I can't see him through the blur of tears. "I don't need you to do that. Besides, I cant be seen like this"

"Oh, calm down," he says. He rolls his eyes. "I'll take you out the back door."

"I don't need you to…" I shake my head. My body is trembling and I feel so weak I'm not sure I can stand, but I have to try. I can't be the only one who needs to be walked back to the dorms. "Even if they don't see me, they'll find out, they'll talk about me—"

"Nonsense."

He grabs my arm and hauls me out of the chair. I blink the tears from my eyes, wipe my cheeks with the heel of my hand, I yank my arm away and stop.

"Why did you do that to me?" I say. "What was the point of that, huh? I wasn't aware that when I chose Dauntless, I was signing up for weeks of torture!"

"Did you think overcoming cowardice would be easy?" he says calmly.

"That isn't overcoming cowardice! Cowardice is how you decide to be in real life, and in real life, I am not being whipped by Marcus, Four!" I press my palms to my face and sob into them. "Not anymore. Not ever again."

He doesn't say anything, just stands there as I cry. It only takes me a few seconds to stop and wipe my face again. "I want to go to target practise." I sob. He doesn't look at me with sympathy. He just looks at me. His eyes look black in the dim corridor, and his mouth is set in a hard line.

"no, in _real life_, after something like that, there is no time for target practise. Find another way to cope! Learning how to think in the midst of fear," he says, "is a lesson that everyone, even the naturals like you, need to learn. That's what we're trying to teach you. If you can't learn it, you'll need to get the hell out of here, because we won't want you!"

"What do you expect me to do _Four_? Start hitting people? Because that's all that seems to work. Shooting and fighting."

He sighs. "now I know you for a fact aren't Victoria, she'd never say that"

"God Four! I told you! I'm not _her_, I'm not!".

"How long do you think you spent in that hallucination, _Ace_?" he say my name like an insult.

"I don't know." I shake my head. "An hour?"

"Four minutes," he replies. "You got out three times faster than the other initiates. Be proud, don't you dare drag the Eaton name to shame."

Four minutes? "Eaton isn't my name." I start walking to the door

He smiles a little. "Tomorrow you'll be better at this. You'll see."

"Tomorrow?" I look at him.

"Every day. Anyway, your fears are rarely what they appear to be in the simulation," he adds.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you really afraid that will happen?" he says, half smiling at me. The expression warms his eyes enough that I forget he's my instructor. He's just my brother, the same ne who used to play hide and seek with me, the one who used to pretend he could fashion things from wind and give them to me.

"No. I guess not." I say. Marcus doesn't scare me anymore. Maybe it was just one fear. What was common throughout that whole thing? I look down, Control. I was not in control. I couldn't do anything I was powerless. I walk out and look at Uriah, "Its not that bad." I say to him but he looks unconvinced. My hair is standing in all directions and my face is wet completely with tears and sweat runs down the side of my body. And I wondered why Uriah was so unconvinced.


	7. Chapter 7

WHEN I WALK IN, most of the other initiates—Dauntless-born and transfer alike—are crowded between the rows of bunk beds with Peter at their centre. He holds a piece of paper in both hands.

"_The mass exodus of the children of Abnegation leaders cannot be ignored or attributed to coincidence,"_ he reads. _"The recent transfer of Beatrice and Caleb Prior, the children of Andrew Prior, calls into question the soundness of Abnegation's values and teachings."_

I grab the paper from his hands and read through it. he lied, it didn't say '_the recent transfer of Beatrice and Caleb Prior' _it said,_ 'it is no surprice that Marcus Eaton's daughter, the one who is called insane, left him. It obvious to us all that Marcus not only abused his son, Tobias, but he abused Victoria too. The also very recent transfer of Beatrice and Caleb Prior'_

That bitch. Jeanine Mathews was going to pay. It is none of her business that he abused me. But the fact that she attacked the Priors and the whole of Abnegation, that was pure cowardice. Peter grabbed the paper back and continued reading.

"_Why else would the children of such an important man decide that the lifestyle he has set out for them is not an admirable one?"_ Peter continues. _"Drew Atwood, a fellow Dauntless transfer, suggests a disturbed and abusive upbringing might be to blame. 'I heard her talking in her sleep once,' Drew says. 'She was telling her father to stop doing something. I don't know what it was, but it gave her nightmares.'"_

"What?" Tris demands. Or tries to demand, her voice comes out strangled and scratchy, and she has to clear her throat and say it again. _"What?"_

Peter stops reading, and a few people turn around. Some, like Christina, look at me in a pitying way, their eyebrows drawn in, their mouths turned down at the corners. But most give me little smirks and eye one another suggestively. Peter turns last, with a wide smile.

"Give me that," she says, holding out her hand. My face burns.

"But I'm not done reading," he replies, laughter in his voice. His eyes scan the paper again. _"However, perhaps the answer lies not in a morally bereft man, but in the corrupted ideals of an entire faction. Perhaps the answer is that we have entrusted our city to a group of proselytizing tyrants who do not know how to lead us out of poverty and into prosperity." _

She storms up to him and tries to snatch the paper from his hands, but he holds it up, high above her head so she can't reach it unless she jumps, and she won't jump. A thought occurs to me:

_I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another._

If I truly believe that, I need to stand up for her and the whole of Abnegation. I step forward, rip the paper from his grip and punch him hard in the jaw. "Marcus didn't abuse me, or Tobias. The upbringing is better than yours and there is _nothing_ wrong with the Priors." I punch him again and step hard on his foot. Everybody looks at me in shock, I realize that he didn't say anything about Marcus, Tobias or I. but it's too late now, isn't it? "How dare _you_ state it? How dare you so much as say the name of my old faction in my presence. And what gives you the right to read that out loud?" he looks hurt. I don't feel bad at all.

"Why are you standing up for them, stiff much?" I grab his hand and press it the wrong way so he ends up on his knees. I grab his hair and pull it up.

"Maybe now you can hear me. I AM NOT A STIFF! I NEVER HAVE BEEN AND I _NEVER_ WILL BE!" I let go of his ear and step on his hands. Hard, so he cant move. "Then why?" he asks me

"_I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another." _ I say, "Sound familiar?" I say and look over at Will. I step off of his hands and pull him up by his hair, "You will never say anything about anybody's old faction again, and you will not so much as look at her the wrong way or I will cut off your toes one by one and feet then to you while I hang you over the chasm by your eyebrows."

I look at Tris, she looks grateful even though her cheeks look as red as mine feel, "And that fucking goes for all of you, we are about to become dauntless, and I'm in the mood for a fight. So if I was you, I would stay the fuck away from Tris _and_ abnegation. Got that?" I say and I hear, "Whoa." Behind me, its Uriah. I hear cheers and support from the crowd of people I'm talking to. I storm out of there, Lyn, Marlene and Uriah follow me out. They follow me to the training room, I kind of hope Eric is there, so I can smell him. But I wish he isn't, if he sees me like this I'll have to explain what's going on. My hair is still standing up a lot and my face is still wet with tears. Marlene walks to the pit, Uriah and Lynn watch me as I walk over to the punching bags and hit as hard as I can. "That, was so damn awesome." Lynn says and Uriah nods.

"She's right you know, you were excellent. Did you like practise that or something?" he says with a grin.

"I don't practise for anything unless you count hitting the shit out of a punching bag." They laugh. And I smile too.

"Well, I think you were amazing." Uriah says and I look at him.

"If you are hitting on me, you might as well give up now." I say and we all laugh.

"Why is there a special someone you're eyeing? Let me know because, dear God, I don't want to come anywhere near him." I frown at her and she smiles, "Because I want to stay out of your way." She says and I smile, "Don't worry about it Lynn, I don't think you would take a second look at him. He scares the crap out of everyone, including me." _ Eric_. "And besides I wouldn't be able to hit you, not when I know what you guys can do." They laugh and I continue practising and after an hour of nagging me I finally smile, turn and say to them in a whisper, "Don't tell anyone, it's," _Eric_, "Four." I laugh and Uriah smiles, "Don't be stupid we know its not him." He says

"Yeah, we already know he's your brother. And we know four. He wouldn't favour you." Lynn adds.

I smile. "Thanks guys"

"Now tell us." They nag.

"Okay, okay, fine. I have a huge, enormous, crazy-weird, stupid, little crush on," the door bursts open and all three of us gasp, "Eric." I say as he stands in the door way. Uriah and Lynn's eyes are wide with fear,. I knew it. He looks exhausted, "Ace, I've been looking everywhere for you. I heard you threatened Peter." If its possible, Lynn's eyes widen even more. She turns to Uriah and whispers in his ear. He's eyes widen too. He's mouth is open and Eric and I both stare at them with frowns. They just caught on. I nod and point at the door. They nod while looking at each other and then they get up and leave. I turn to my punching bag and continue hitting it, it sways fast and hard. "Yeah, and nothing you do can make me regret it, or not mean it." I say, the corners of his mouth twitch, "I heard why you threatened him, I just don't know what you could have said that was so bad."

"So bad?"

"He ran to Four and told him he wanted to move dormitories because he was afraid of you."

"cry-baby." I smirk and continue hitting the bag a little harder, I strain, faster and harder. A sound escapes my throat as I hit it again. I stop, to catch my breath and it swings back, hitting me hard. It knocks the wind out of me and I fall over. Eric gets on his knees lifting my shirt to see where it hit me. I cough and look at Eric. He looks shocked. At that moment I realise that I still have bruises, Gifts from Marcus. Usually when I show my stomach I cover them with make-up so you can't see them. He looks down at my body and into my eyes. He takes of my top completely and despite the fact that I know its because of my bruises, it still make me feel uncomfortable. I try to sit up, and groan while I do. He put his cold hands on my hips to steady me. His fingers are long and slender, pale and cold. Not unlike my own. Only at this moment my hands are boiling hot and so are my hips. "Who did this to you?" he asks softly and I shake my head, "Who did this to you?" he says a lit louder. "this is the last time I ask before I hit however I think might have come close to hurting you, including Four. Who did this to you?" he asks and I can't help but feel guilty. I put my hands on his cheeks, "Promise me you won't hurt him?" he nods slowly, "Marcus" I whisper and he presses his nose to mine. My hands slide to his neck and I look into his eyes, his gorgeous, emerald eyes. He presses his lips to mine and I close my eyes, I think he does too,; I cant be sure. I feel like someone is watching but I don't open eyes, if he knows someone is there he doesn't care, because he continues kissing me. Not hungrily, or greedy-like, tenderly and softly. Like I'm delicate. I actually like it. I hear a voice, "Lyn, Uriah what are you guys-" I stop and turn my head to see Uriah, Lyn and Four staring straight at me. I feel so sorry for Lyn and Uriah. They see me, without my shirt, covered in bruises they've never seen before, kissing Eric. Four, looks shocked and confused. We are all silent, like the day of the score release. The room is on a cliff, tilting back and forth waiting to fall over the cliff or land safely on the ground. We all know its not gonna land safely, this isn't gonna go down the way I would have wanted it to. And then it falls. "What exactly are you doing?!" Four shouts and steps in, closing the door and closing Lynn and Uriah out. I open my mouth to speak, "Not you! _Him!_ What do you think you're doing with my sister?" he shouts and Eric stands up. 'What's it to you?" I say as I stand in front of him. "So you are….." four says slowly

"I don't think its necessary for you to know" I shout back, my voice sounds hoarse. I put my shirt on, grab Eric's hand and walk out. I let Eric walk away and I walk to the dormitory. I walk in and Four follows me in. "_What _did you say to me?!" I am well aware we just caught everyone's attention.

"I don't feel like telling you. I don't think you need to know!" I shout

"Typical Erudite!"

"Shut up! I'm not in Erudite! I'm not in Candor!-"

"Obviously not!"

"Shut the hell up! I'm not in Amity and if you dare think I am in Abnegation you can just leave now!" now, they're all crowding, but I don't care. They can watch if they want. Its not gonna make me act or feel differently.

"Oh yeah?! Then what was you aptitude result? Huh?"

"I can tell you!"

"Why not, Stiff?" he asks and I punch him in the face without warning.

"I am not a stiff."

"Well, what was your result then?"

"I am not going to tell you!"

"Why not, stiff?"

"I am not a fucking stiff! God! Stop treating me like a child who has to tell you everything! If you think it's so easy why don't you tell me what you got? Huh?" he looks bloodshot.

"I cant!"

"Why not!?' He gives me a look

"For the same reason you cant."

"So then! What does it matter?!"

"Because what you did back there was your final act of rebellion!"

"It wasn't an act of rebellion," we are so close we both breathe the same air

"then what was it then?!"

"What do you care?!'

"I don't want you to get hurt! Not again! I saw your Fears, remember?!"

"You saw _a_ fear. _A _fear._ One! _One! and I doubt you even gave it a second thought!" I shout the room is filled with '_Ooooo'_

"Really?"

"Yeah! You never think of me! That's why you left me there! That's why you hate Eric so much! That's why you skip me when you train! That's why you don't want to call me Ace!"

"I had enough of thinking about other people when I was a stiff!"

"Yeah. I know that. But I forgave you! God, I feel like such an asshole! Now I see why you left me there! You don't want me to see even a bit of happiness, do you?!"

He grabbed my wrist.

"Later." He said

"No! I will not wait for 'Later' that's what you said on the first day I got here and this is the first time we are actually talking properly! This is over. Never speak to me again." I say the last five words slowly without being able to stop them. he doesn't move. "Get out!" I shout and he leaves. I was well aware they were all watching me. I didn't care. Uriah and Lyn walk into the room and look at me. I leave the room. I'm going to sleep in Eric's room tonight. Four cant stop me. He doesn't have the authority, he isn't my father and the fact that he's my brother doesn't give him the right to do what he did. Nothing does. Don't you agree? It was just some harmless kissing I get that stiffs have to marry before holding hands, but I am not a stiff!

I never have been!

And I never will be!

On my way to Eric I see Four near the chasm. He is drinking a beer. It looks like he's had a few. I need to move before I decide to push him over the railing and into the chasm.I walk to Eric's room, he isn't there so and get in bed. I don't bother changing or anything. I just sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

BREATHE THROUGH my nose. In, out. In.

"It's just a damn simulation," Four says angrily. We're both still angry about yesterday. I refuse to let the needle come near my neck. I jump about and duck and hide, like a child trying to avoid medication. This stuff is worse than that. "Sit down! Now!" he shouts and I know that everybody outside the room is listening in, he picked me out first. On purpose. He thought that if people listen in I'll behave; he's wrong. "NO!" I shout at him and avoid the needle again. I tighten my jaw. And cross my arms. "Stop being so childish!" he shouts. Trying to catch me in the small room. "Then stop treating me like a child!" he sighs and closes his eyes. He counts softly to ten and when he opens then he looks like Marcus, all angry and stuff. "Get in the chair." He says softly and I sit down. "Thank you." He says. "Remember, it's just a simulation."

He's wrong. The last simulation bled into my life, waking and sleeping. Nightmares. Sudden fits of terror in the shower, at breakfast, on the way here. And I am not the only one who feels this way; I can tell.

Still I nod and close my eyes.

I am in darkness. I bend my knees and keep my breath steady, whatever it is that waits for me, its not going to be pretty. The light comes on and I see Peter, he holds a gun to my head and I breath in. this is just a simulation. Still, my heart pounds and adrenaline runs in my veins. I look around, if I can kick high enough I can get the gun but if I don't get then I'll need something else. What else is in here that I can use? I see the leg of a chair, but I see a human leg too. The lights come on fully and I see four people, the blonde girl (I've decided to name her Myra, because she makes me feel so guilty, she's so innocent. So easily hurt, so fragile.) Tobias sits in a chair, in his Abnegation uniform, Marcus sits beside him. And as I see Eric in the last chair I can almost see the anger on Tobias's face and I can't help but smirk. Peter hands me a gun and I know what I have to do. I look at Peter, "In any order?" he nods and smiles. I put the gun to Marcus's head and breath in. "You wouldn't shoot me." He says and I smile. "Don't underestimate me." I say. Guilty as he is, it makes me feel bad. "You don't scare me anymore." I say and pull the trigger. His face becomes pale, his eyes become glassy and he falls over, a halo of blood surrounding his head. I move the gun and then walk over to Tobias. I press the gun to Tobias's head, I breath in. this should be easy, he did hurt me. "Victoria. Please, don't." as he says my name a sob escapes my mouth and I stand there, crying with a gun pressed to my head and holding one pressed to his. I moved the gun over to Eric, I look at him and then I move to Myra. I look away and I whisper, "I'm sorry." She screams and my lip curls. I pretend to put the gun to Eric's head and then I fire at Peter and he collapses in a pool of blood. I look at my reflection in his blood. I touch it, it's beautiful. I run my fingers through it and then I fall, into the blood. I open my eyes in my room, the one at Marcus's house. It is silent and eerie. I breath in and out. I hear the turn of the door handle, maybe if I calm down I can wake up before he gets here. My mind wonders to the books I read as a child, Alice in wonderland. Through the looking glass. I focus, isn't there usually a key in the door? Right. On the other side. But the other side is this side from that side, isn't it? I look at the door. The key. I walk to it and lock it. I am calm down this is wonderful. "Open the door!" Marcus shouts and then I wake up. Four stands to my right, but instead of helping me up, he just looks at me.

"What?" I ask.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Lock the door? There was no key. Not even on the other side. Marcus had a high security lock on your door."

"I don't know." Four finally offers me his hand. I swing my legs over the side of the chair, and when I stand, I feel steady. Calm. He looks at me and he purses his lips. "What?" I spit in his face.

"I cant believe you're divergent."

"Me neither. I was _born _to become Dauntless."

"Yeah right, you named a girl from you simulation,."

"so that it would be easier to kill her."

"Yeah, and it was easy for you to kill her, right? It was even hard to pull the trigger at my head. And I ruined your 'Love Story' remember?"

"It wasn't a love story." I raised my voice a bit.

"Well that doesn't matter, you shouldn't tamper with the simulations they'll see it. they'll kill you."

"Yeah and that would be _tragic_. And I would kill him if it was you. But it wasn't, it was _Tobias Eaton_. Not _Four_." I walk out and this time my tears aren't that bad. I'm not that roughed up, "It gets easier." I whispered to them and I left to the dormitory. When I geet there I look on my pillow, it's the queen of hearts. 'Your next, Ace.' I look at it and grin. Nice try. I take a marker, write on the other side of the card, 'Try me.' And stick it to my bed post. Nothing can scare me, not anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey Marina92. Thanks for the review! You're our first one! Yay! Hope you enjoy this one, I finished it extra quickly just for you.**

**Kisses, **

**Aniston. **

i hold my head in my hands and breathe deeply. its been five days since the kiss. Today the simulation was the same as yesterday; stuck in a box, not unlike the cupboard I used to hide in.. When I lift my head, I see that Four is watching me.

"I really hated the cupboard," I say.

"You don't have to explain it to me," he replies. "me too. Not the most unreasonable thing in the world."

"I don't know why I have to face it over and over. I'm not even afraid of it anymore," I say I know he wont understand, but I am not afraid of it. I don't even cry anymore.. I twist my fingers together and pull them apart. My hands are trembling. "Do you ever miss mom?" I look at him. If he knows about Eric he should know about our mom.

Four looks down. "Yes," he says eventually. "I do. But that's not unusual."

It isn't, even I miss her. Do i? Do I really? or am I mixing up the words 'miss' and 'loathe' because at the moment I feel like punching everyone right now.

I pause with my hand on the doorknob and look back at him.

_Do you know she's alive?_ I ask him silently. _Do you know my secret? Can you tell me?_. His eyes hold mine, and as the silent seconds pass, he looks less and less stern. I feel like we are both trying to say something the other can't hear, though I could be imagining it. "Wait," he says. "Be careful with Eric." I look at him, expecting anger. "Why?" I ask softly.

"Guys, like Eric, observe a girl. They're body, they're confidence. They look at," he touches his chest (Where a woman's boobs would've been) "And," he touches his bottom and I laugh. We both do.

"I am not telling you stay away from him, I'm warning you what I see happening."

"I will, if you promise to stop making Tris feel like you're her boyfriend." I say with a wink and he goes bright red.

I push the door open and hurry down the hallway.

I shouldn't be so naive. I shouldn't focus on Eric, I shouldn't focus on anyone but me. ME, ME, ME, ME.I shouldn't be able to think of anything but initiation, _my_ initiation

When I get back to the dormitory, I expect to find the same thing I found the day before: a few initiates lying on beds or staring at nothing. Instead they stand in a group on the other end of the room. Eric is in front of them with a chalkboard in his hands, which is facing the other way, so I can't see what's written on it. I stand next to Will.

"What's going on?" I whisper. I hope it isn't another article, because I'm not sure I can handle any more hostility directed at me.

"Rankings for stage two," he says.

"I thought there weren't any cuts after stage two," I hiss.

"There aren't. It's just a progress report, sort of."

I nod.

The sight of the board makes me feel uneasy, like something is swimming in my stomach. Eric lifts the board above his head and hangs it on the nail. When he steps aside, the room falls silent, and I crane my neck to see what it says.

My name is in the second slot. Tris is first.

Heads turn in her direction. I follow the list down. Christina and Will are seventh and ninth, respectively. Tris and I are a minute apart. Peter is third, but when I look at the time listed by his name, I realize that the margin between us is conspicuously wide.

Peter's average simulation time is eight minutes. Mine is four minutes, three seconds.

"Nice job, Tris," Will says quietly.

I nod, still staring at the board. I should be pleased that I am not ranked first, but I know what that means. If Peter and his friends hated her before, they will despise her now. Now she is Edward. It could be her eye next. Or worse.

"I will not be outranked by a Stiff," he hisses, his face so close to hers she can smell his stale breath. "How did you do it, huh? How the hell did you do it?"

He pulls her forward a few inches and then slams her against the wall again. Will grabs Peter by his shirt collar and drags him away from her

I look at him through squinted eyes. "Didn't I tell you and your bastard friends to stay away from Tris?" Will throws him on to the floor and I spit on his face, "Enjoy it while you can, Peter. I know how much you love my spit" I say, "Oh, and if I remember correctly you like some blood with it." I step on his face and turn back to my bunk. "Leave her alone, only a coward bullies a little girl." Will says to Peter

"A little girl?" scoffs Peter, throwing off Will's hand. "Are you blind, or just stupid? She's going to edge you out of the rankings and out of _Dauntless_, and you're going to get _nothing_, all because she knows how to manipulate people and you don't. So when you realize that she's out to ruin us all, you let me know."

Peter storms out of the dormitory. Molly and Drew follow him, looks of disgust on their faces.

"Thanks," She says, nodding to Will.

"Is he right?" Will asks quietly. "Are you trying to manipulate us?"

"How on earth would I do that?" she scowls at him. "I'm just doing the best I can, like anyone else."

"I don't know." He shrugs a little. "By acting weak so we pity you? And then acting tough to psyche us out?"

"Psyche you out?" she repeats. "I'm your _friend_. I wouldn't do that."

He doesn't say anything. I can tell he doesn't believe her—not quite.

"Don't be an idiot, Will," says Christina, hopping down from her bunk. She looks at her without sympathy and adds, "She's not acting."

Christina turns and leaves, without banging the door shut. Will follows. I am alone in the room with Al and Tris. I don't like this atmosphere, so I leave them behind and slam the door. The first and the last.

I walk to the training room, I enter and walk over to the punching bangs. My fists are clenched so hard the scab on my knuckles are already open. I remember the kiss, and the bruises. And Lyn and Uriah. Maybe I should find them. maybe I should explain to them what's going on. I barely notice Peter until I reach the bags and hear a faint whimper. I look it his bag, it's barely swinging. I remember mine, how hard it hit me in the chest. I keep in mind that I've been practising since I got here and he never really did. I hit the bag hard and it sways, the impact hard enough to slap the breath out of anyone. I bit down on my lip to stop from screaming. The scabs on my hand have broken open, widely. The whole scab falls to the floor but I don't stop. I know what happens when I stop; the bag hits me. I have raw skin on my knuckles and a little bit of blood. Peter stops and stares at me, at my dedication and at my strength. I feel hands on my waist and I still gasp. But I continue punching. If I don't, it'll hit me. "Hold your hips still here in one place. If they move too much you might get hurt." Eric says. Trying to cover up his gesture. I nod and try to keep my hips stiller. 'And you, Peter? Are you here to train or watch her?" he shouts. He sounds angry. Maybe its because he is, is he really angry that Peter was watching me? Or is he just wearing his Dauntless-leader mask? Peter shakes his head and begins punching. Eric walks over to him and pats him hard on the stomach. Peter stumbles back a bit. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Do you have a bruise or something there?" I smile. He's referring to my bruises. He looks at me and I hide my smile. Not satisfied with my reaction, he puts his hand on Peter's stomach. "Use your core." He says and I grin madly. I know what he's trying to do. I would like to say that it's not working; but I'm not that good at lying. This is a grin I can't hide. I let out a yell of pain as some more of my own skin peels off of my fingers. Leaving raw skin and blood pouring over my hands. I can't go on like this, I need to do something else. I need to kick. So I start kicking and kicking until the top f my foot burns in pain, my toes are numb with pain I can barely stand on them. Peter and Eric are still peacefully training on the other side of the rom. They talk too softly for me to hear. My hands are covered in blood and I have a little bit on my foot. I feel like I'm free. Like I can fly. And then it goes dark.

When I wake up I smell disinfectant and Eric. I smell a faint bit of Peter too. I wipe my eye with my hand and it feels a bit scratchy. Like I have a rope wrapped around it. it's a bandage. My hands are both bandaged up and so is my left foot. i look around, this is Eric's room. It's modern and there are trinkets everywhere. I slip my feet out of the blanket and then I hear Peter, "Don't move!" he says loudly and I see that he's standing and talking to Eric and Four in the kitchen. They all look at me with different faces. Eric looks at me worriedly. Peter looks scared and Four looks – as bloody always- calm. "Why not?" I say as loud as I can muster, which isn't very loud.

"Because you hurt your ankle." Four says to me.

"And cut open your hands." Peter adds.

"I'm fine." I say, "I just cut my hands a little. It happens all the time. and my foot," I pause. "My foot feels fine." I lie easily. It hurts so damn bad I can believe I'm not screaming.

"Well, Peter and I saw you fall over. So I asked him to go call four and carried you to my room."

"Where I came in and bandaged your hands, we called the nurse to come and check out your foot."

"She said not to walk on it for at least two weeks."

"Two weeks!? No standing for two weeks? No fighting?" I scream. this is so unfair! Eric shakes his head, Peter trembles and Four doesn't move. Has he always been this calm, have I just never noticed? I roll my neck and stand up, on my right foot. hovering my left foot before putting it down and screaming in pain as half of my weight lands on it. Eric looks like he can dive and help, so does Peter. Four stands there with a smirk, he raises his eyebrows, "Go on then." He says nodding and I look at him. Colour floods to my cheeks. I then walk over to the door, only placing weight on my right foot and gently dragging my left foot afterwards. Four turns to Eric, "I know her, trust me. She's not going to take those crutches until she really needs them. and she'll use them on her conditions, the more we force her the less she'll want to take them. its just the way she is." He's right. I nod and walk back to the bed. I sit down and start taking off the bandages on my hands. My hands look bad. Swollen, purple and big scabs on them. I hiss through my teeth. "Its not that bad." I say, even though I want to puke all over the floor. I take some of the band aids on the table next to me. Putting them on my fingers so that it doesn't look so bad and the bandages aren't too thick. As for my foot, there's nothing I can do about it. I turn my head. "Can I have those crutches? I promise you'll get them back as soon as I find a way to fix it." I say and Eric hands me the crutches. I hop along off to the clothing store to buy some fingerless gloves and some shoes with foam platforms that are easy to cut. I put on the fingerless gloves and I take the shoes to the dormitory where I cut of two centimetres of the right foots foam. That way I can lift my left foot two centimetres without anyone noticing. I cant fight that way, but at least I _look_ okay.

I walk down the path Four took me on the day we -I- dived off that building. I walk slowly and carefully. If I make a wrong move then all of the Dauntless will know I'm hurt. I turn away. I cant jump off that thing. Not the way I am. They're right. My foot really hurts. I want those crutches. But I am not weak. I can live without them. Uriah comes down the hallway. I smile as Lyn and Marlene walked behind him. I stretched out my arms as he did to. He ran in slow motion and everyone laughed. Running in slomo would hurt my foot and give it away. He hugs me and I hug him back. He's warm and cosy and smells of cake. "Why didn't you run in slomo too?" he asks and I just grin. He looks at me with squinted eyes, "Are you hurt?" i shake my head and they smile. Uriah picks me up at my knees and I yell in pain. But hide it with laughter. He spins me around until I get dizzy 'HAHAHAHA" _god, uriah could you please stop it?_ "Don't stop!" _OUCH! Fuck Uriah. Please put me down. _He slows down._ "_dude, we already know you're hurt. Eric told us to try and get you to use crutches." He says and I smile. He carries me to the training room.

"So, explain to me…that thing that we saw. What happened?" Lyn says and I giggle uncontrollably. Marlene joins in and heat rushes to my cheeks. "So, he's the guy you have a crush on?" Uriah asks and I nod.

"So what were all of those bruises from?"

"Um, when I stop hitting a punching bag it swings and hits me back. Its been doing that for a long time." I lie right through my beautiful teeth.

"So, why were you on the floor?" Uriah gives Lyn a look.

"Nevermind that, why were you topless?" he asks.

"The bag hit me over onto my back and he took off my shirt to see the damage." They nod

"So, one last question. Why were you kissing?" I hope my cheeks aren't as red as they feel.

"Um….i…..i don't know." They all burst out laughing and for the rest of the afternoon we laugh and talk.

I get back to the dormitory before anyone else does, and when they start to trickle in, I get into bed and pretend to be asleep. If I can make it through initiation, I will be Dauntless, and I won't have to see them anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

**So, Bacon. You told me you like Peter, so here you are. I'm going to show what I think of him. Okay? I think that's fair, you do call me Washcloth a lot. And Nicholas, my mom thinks you're my boyfriend, and the more I explain you aren't, the more she thinks you are. It might have to do with the fact that when I talk on the phone about you or bacon, I call you Nickie. So, enjoy the embarrassment of being called a (and I quote) **_**'Hunk with blue eyes'**_** by my mom. **

**Kisses (Except for Nickie),**

**Charlotte.**

I sit in the dining hall, not hungry at all. I look over at Tris who enters the room with a cowardly look on her face. She has a bruise under her eye. I'm starting to feel like she's my responsibility like I'm an older sister or something. Whoever the bastard was, that did that to her, they are going to pay. I see her look at Peter and then look away. God, Peter was going to pay. I am angry that he tried to hurt her and I want him to die. But I'm cunning, I pretend to congratulated him on what he did. First, I glance at Eric. He raises his eyebrows as I enter the room with a limp. I pretend to fall on the floor and Eric and Four rush to my aid. Eric takes right and Four takes left. They help me to Peter and on the way i whisper to them. "Peter hurt Tris. Now I'm going to hurt him. In ways only I could. Four, explain to Tris I'm only doing this for her and Eric, I'm doing this for her. Okay?" they both nod. By now they know when I want do something, stopping me isn't an option. When I get to Peter I fall into his lap and kiss him on the cheek. I smile and he looks at me. I make a kissy face and he kisses me, hungrily and greedily like he wants to suck out my soul and claim that I am his. I see Four walk over to Tris and whisper to her. They look in my direction and I show them my middle finger. "Are you high on pain-killers or something?" peter asks me and I laugh.

"Don't be ridiculous." I say and laugh in a high pitched voice.

"Then why are you sitting in my lap?" he asks and licks his lips. I lick mine to.

"well, because you are my hero. You are taking care of that bitch, Tris, for me. And can I be honest with you? You are the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life before." I whisper the last sentence and he kisses me again. I put my hands around his neck and slip in my tongue. pulling him closer to me. he cups my bottom and pulls me closer. His eyes are closed and mine are open so I can see Eric on the other side of the room. He scans everybody and as he sees us his lip curls. Four gets up and stands between the tables. Conversation, and our kissing, abruptly ceases.

"Transfers. We're doing something different today," he says. "Follow me."

Four leads us out of the dining hall and along the paths that surround the Pit. I hold Peter's hand and put my head on his shoulder. I laugh and trip Will, I hope he will get the message and understand what I'm doing. He's an Erudite, he should catch it quickly.

Four turns around and walks backward a few steps—backward, on a narrow path with no railing. How well does he know this place?

He eyes Drew, who trudges at the back of the group, and says, "Pick up the pace, Drew!"

We get closer and closer to the glass ceiling, and for the first time in days, I see the sun. Four walks up a flight of metal stairs leading through a hole in the ceiling. They creak under my feet, and I look down to see the Pit and the chasm below us.

We walk across the glass, which is now a floor rather than a ceiling, through a cylindrical room with glass walls. The surrounding buildings are half-collapsed and appear to be abandoned, which is probably why I never noticed the Dauntless compound before. The Abnegation sector is also far away.

The Dauntless mill around the glass room, talking in clusters. At the edge of the room, two Dauntless fight with sticks, laughing when one of them misses and hits only air. Above me, two ropes stretch across the room, one a few feet higher than the other. They probably have something to do with the daredevil stunts the Dauntless are famous for.

Four leads us through another door. Beyond it is a huge, dank space with graffiti-covered walls and exposed pipes. The room is lit by a series of old-fashioned fluorescent tubes with plastic covers—they must be ancient.

"This," says Four, his eyes bright in pale light, "is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you see it."

Behind him, the word "Dauntless" is spray-painted in red artistic lettering on a concrete wall.

"Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it."

Four continues, "The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many you have."

How many fears will I have? I think of shooting Marcus again and shiver, though the air is warm.

"I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation," he says. I remember when he said that. On the first day. Right before he put a gun to Peter's head. I wish he had pulled the trigger.

"That is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body—to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head." One of the fluorescent tubes above Four's head twitches and flickers. Four stops scanning the crowd of initiates and focuses his stare on me.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?"

We all nod. Even Drew, who makes it look painful.

If I do well in my final test, I have a good chance of making it into the top ten and a good chance of becoming a member. Becoming Dauntless. The thought makes me almost giddy with relief.

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." Four shrugs. "So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them."

"That doesn't sound fair," says Peter. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault."

Four stares at him for a few seconds and then laughs. "Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?"

The crowd of initiates parts to make way for him as he walks toward Peter, folds his arms, and says, in a deadly voice, "I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

Peter stares back, expressionless.

"So now we all know," says Four, quietly, "that you are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." His mouth curls in a smile. Christina's shoulders shake with suppressed laughter. And somewhere within me, I find a smile too, but I hide it. I press my face to Peters neck and he holds me tightly. We walk back to the dormitory and I try not to move my face, to keep it there because I know it makes him comfortable. As we get to the dormitory I stay with him the whole time and we spend most of the time snogging, we're basically inseparable. He plays with my hair as I lay with my head on his lap on his bed. He sits and runs his fingers through my hair and I lie with my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. When night falls I lie with him in bed, he holds me tightly against him like I'm a diamond that someone wants to steal. I can't sleep, not with the nightmares. Those hands around my body stabbed an eye. these hands hurt Tris. Every time he makes a sound I see Tris wake slightly. He whimpers often, so when he does I kiss him. To almost wake him so that he stops and to comfort him. The closer he thinks we are the better.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey Finny! Hey Bella! Bella, I love your idea, and I'll run it by my BFF, Aniston, but he might not like it. we don't usually agree, so we argue and last time we had and argument it ended up with both of the scars on our fists to break open, (We're new to the boxing club). And just to let you guys know, Exams are creeping nearer and nearer, and instead of studying we're doing this. So don't be upset if the chapters come in a bit late. **

**Kisses,**

**Charlotte.**

"TRIS." I hear Christina's voice. Peter's awake but he holds me against him, so I cant move. I open my eyes to see what's going on.

"Tris!" I hear again. I open my eyes. Christina stands next to Tris's bed, her cheeks streaked with mascara-tinted tears.

"It's Al," she says. "Come on."

Peter takes my hand and leads me after Christina and Tris. I run barefoot over the stone floor, blinking clouds from my eyes, my limbs still heavy with sleep. Something terrible has happened. I feel it with every thump of my heart. _It's Al_.

We run across the Pit floor, and then Christina stops. A crowd has gathered around the ledge, but everyone stands a few feet from one another, so there is enough space for me to maneuver past Christina and around a tall, middle-aged man to the front.

Two men stand next to the ledge, hoisting something up with ropes. They both grunt from the effort, heaving their weight back so the ropes slide over the railing, and then reaching forward to grab again. A huge, dark shape appears above the ledge, and a few Dauntless rush forward to help the two men haul it over.

The shape falls with a thud on the Pit floor. A pale arm, swollen with water, flops onto the stone. A body. i pull myself tight to my side, clinging to peter's arm. A few of the men turn the body over, and the head flops to the side.

The eyes are open and empty. Dark. Doll's eyes. And the nose has a high arch, a narrow bridge, a round tip. The lips are blue. The face itself is something other than human, half corpse and half creature. My lungs burn; my next breath rattles on the way in. _Al._

"One of the initiates," says someone behind me. "What happened?"

"Same thing that happens every year," someone else replies. "He pitched himself over the ledge."

"Don't be so morbid. Could have been an accident."

"They found him in the middle of the chasm. You think he tripped over his shoelace and…whoopsies, just _stumbled_ fifteen feet forward?"

Someone kneels next to Al's face and pushes his eyelids shut. Trying to make it look like he's sleeping, maybe. Stupid. Why do people want to pretend that death is sleep? It isn't. It isn't.

Something inside me collapses. My chest is so tight, suffocating, can't breathe.. The stone is rough under my knees. I hear something, a memory of sound. Al's sobs; his screams at night. Should have helped. Still can't breathe.

On our way back to the dorms I try to press out a laugh and a smirk. But its difficult. I knew he was going to do this, I could feel it in my gut. Then the laughing became easier. If I don't laugh I'm going to cry and right now the laughing is the easiest. So I laugh hard.

At home, a funeral is a somber occasion. Everyone gathers to support the deceased's family, and no one has idle hands, but there is no laughter, or shouting, or joking. And the Abnegation don't drink alcohol, so everyone is sober. It makes sense that funerals would be the opposite here.

Eric sits across from me in silence. he's elbows are on his knees and he's hands are on the back of his head. He looks down at the ground. He looks sad, angry even. He looks up at me, "What are you planning?" he asks seriously.

"I don't know yet, but its going to hurt him." I say, my anger hasn't subsided, if anything I'm angrier and I cant wait to kill him."

"Really? is that really what you're doing?" he asks.

I nod, "I want to kill him." I say

"it feels like you aren't trying to hurt him. It feels like you're trying to hurt me."

"What? no, I'm trying to hurt him."

"You know that kiss?" I nod, "I've been fantasising it since I met you."

"ME too." I look away. This is weird.

"It doesn't feel like it. it feels like you're only doing it because you want to show me you don't feel the way I do." There are tears in his eyes now.

"But I do," I say "Really, I do."

"Good." He says and looks away. This is so weird. The tension is like some tape. Stretching and stretching. Become more and more messed up. Our heads are both filling with thoughts of the other. Eventually, I pray, I will become brave enough and break the tension. The tension shatters and the tape snaps as he gets up and walks over to me. I get up and we stand inches away from each other. I feel like the air between us is foam, and I want to press it until It disappears. I move closer, my eyes watering. So does he. The foam between us disappears as we touch. I look up at him. I decided wearing heels is an idiotic idea a while ago, it's just going to give it away, and I already limp. He looks down at me and he smiles, sniffing. I kiss him. We both kiss tenderly, softly. His hands go to my hips and press me tighter to him. I wrap my hands around his neck and stand on my toes, pressing his mouth to mine. We stumble together and he falls over, I fall on top of him. "Oh my God. Sorry." I say. He laughs and just kisses me again. His slender cold fingers under my shirt. just above my pant-line. My hands go under shirt, lighly going over every perfectly sculpted muscle there. We stop kissing. We lay on the floor, side by side.

"Time to go," he says. And I try to get up. I try to push my body up. I asked Eric to buy me an outfit I could wear for the funeral when we heard there was going to be one. I needed an excuse to ditch Peter. To be with Eric. i'm wearing the dress now. Tris has one like it. its feminine and my shoulders show. My arms are buff and my legs are muscled, maybe exercise isn't such a good thing. I groan as I try to sit up. You would expect my gifts from Marcus to have felt better, but they don't. they aren't even fading. He helps me up and raises his eyebrows. "Crutches." I whisper and I use them to make my way to the door.

"Wait," he says, "just one more." He kisses me and I kiss him back.

I realize that I'm shaking; not just shaking, trembling. Not good. My hands usually shake before I start to cry, and I can't cry in front of everyone.

I follow him down the path to the Pit floor. All the people that were milling around earlier are gathered by the ledge now, and the air smells potently of alcohol. The woman in front of me lurches to the right, losing her balance, and then erupts into giggles as she falls against the man next to her. Peter grabs my arm and steers me away. I wonder what alcohol tastes like, maybe people are right, maybe it will make me feel better.

I find Uriah, Will, and Christina standing among the other initiates. Christina's eyes are swollen. Uriah is holding a silver flask. I stand next to Peter and I smell alcohol. I need some right now. I grab a bottle of something and look at the label. 'fire-whiskey' it says, 'not safe for anyone over the age of 18' it says and everyone is staring at me. I want to do it now, to kill him. I want to smash this bottle onto his head and hit him hard. I open the bottle, it hurts my fingers but I don't care. I take a whiff of it. it smells like Marcus used to in the mornings. It smells of cinnamon and leather, and a lot of alcohol. I smell smoke and someone hands me a cigar. I through it to the ground but I take a sip of the fire whiskey. It burns my throat and causes me to cough, "For al." I say in a raspy voice and pour it over Peter's head. I smash the bottle to molly's head, it smashes and she passes out. The crowd erupts in applause. I smile.

"Surprise, surprise," says Peter "Once a Stiff, always a Stiff."

I should ignore him. Him opinions shouldn't matter to me.

"I read an interesting article today," he says, leaning closer to my ear. "Something about your dad, and the _real _reason you left your old faction."

Defending myself isn't the most important thing on my mind. But it is the easiest one to address. I twist, and my fist connects with his jaw. My knuckles sting from the impact. I don't remember deciding to punch him. I don't remember forming a fist.

he lunges at me, his hands outstretched, but he doesn't get far. Will grabs his collar and pulls him back. He looks from him to me and says, "Quit it. Both of you." I pick up another bottle, its opened but it still has most of it was still there. I try not to think about the germs and take a sip. It's like ginger beer, only it makes me feel fantastic, like i could jump from building to building, no wonder people like this stuff.

Part of me wishes that he hadn't stopped him. A fight would be a welcome distraction, especially now that Max is climbing onto a box next to the railing. I face him, crossing my arms to keep myself steady. I wonder what he'll say. In Abnegation no one has committed suicide in recent memory, but the faction's stance on it is clear: Suicide, to them, is an act of selfishness. Someone who is truly selfless does not think of himself often enough to desire death. No one would say that aloud, if it happened, but everyone would think it.

"Quiet down, everyone!" shouts Eric. Someone hits what sounds like a gong, and the shouts gradually stop, though the mutters don't. Max says, "Thank you. As you know, we're here because Albert, an initiate, jumped into the chasm last night." I'm done with that bottle, so I pick up another.

The mutters stop too, leaving just the rush of water in the chasm.

"We do not know why," says Max, "and it would be easy to mourn the loss of him tonight. But we did not choose a life of ease when we became Dauntless. And the truth of it is…" Max smiles. If I didn't know him, I would think that smile is genuine. But I do know him. "The truth is, Albert is now exploring an unknown, uncertain place. He leaped into vicious waters to get there. Who among us is brave enough to venture into that darkness without knowing what lies beyond it? Albert was not yet one of our members, but we can be assured that he was one of our _bravest_!" max says

A cry rises from the centre of the crowd, and a whoop. The Dauntless cheer at varying pitches, high and low, bright and deep. Their roar mimics the roar of the water. Christina takes the flask from Uriah and drinks. Will slides his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his side. Voices fill my ears. "We will celebrate him now, and remember him always!" yells Eric. Someone hands him a dark bottle, and he lifts it. "To Albert the Courageous!"

"To Albert!" shouts the crowd. Arms lift all around me, and the Dauntless chant his name. "Albert! Al-bert! Al-bert!" They chant until his name no longer sounds like his name. It sounds like the primal scream of an ancient race.

I turn away from the railing. I cannot stand this any longer.

I don't know where I'm going. I suspect that I am not going anywhere at all, just away. I walk down a dark hallway. At the end is the drinking fountain, bathed in the blue glow of the light above it.

I shake my head. Courageous? Courageous would have been admitting weakness and leaving Dauntless, no matter what shame accompanied it. Pride is what killed Al, and it is the flaw in every Dauntless heart. It is in mine. Tears spill over my eyes as my hand runs over my reflection in the water. I've changed. A lot. I'm not me anymore. I'm Dauntless. But that's who I am now. Isn't it who I've always been? i don't know. If jumping off a chasm is considered brave, I dont belong here. Because that is not my idea of bravery. "Shouldn't you be paying your respects?" Four says behind me. "Cant' pay something you haven't got." I say. I don't mean it, well I try not to. But I do. I do mean it. "That's exactly what Tris just said to me. But she didn't mean it." he says and I nod.

"How is she?"

"Same as you, she feels guilty as hell."

"I don't feel guilty."

"Yes, you do."

"Do you remember mom?" I say out of the blue

"Yeah. I remember the games we played, the things she did."

"Her coffin?"

"Oh God, you feel guilty because mom and Al's coffins looked alike?"

"no, I feel guilty because I know what was inside of mom's coffin. And it wasn't her."

"I know" he says softly. "I wanted to tell you but I didn't think you would survive it." he adds.

"How long have you known?"

"A few months. You?"

"A week before she died." I we both nod.

"SO how are you and Eric."

"I'm being cautious. He told me he thought about kissing me for a long time." I cant help blushing

"And? What happened then?"

"We kissed." I saw softly and he nods. I feel like punching a whole in the wall.

He's obviously angry. He leaves.

I stand over the chasm, I take a swig of the fire-whiskey I have in my hands. It makes me feel guilty but how can something that makes me feel so good be so bad? I throw the bottle into the chasm. If I don't stop drinking it's going to become a habit. But this stuff is good! My inner voice screams, and I can't help but get a new one, and sip it through gritted teeth. I see Four, he's walking with Tris. He told me a while ago he was going to take her on a date. Maybe this is it.


	12. Chapter 12

**So, yesterday we ended up having another argument. Charlotte has a few cuts on her lip and she bit her tongue open. While my hands were stepped on and the scabs were pulled off as she sat on me. So, now we've come to a conclusion, we're going to confess. So, here you **go. **Guys, I have a confession. This is actually almost over and it's time to come clean with you guys. I wasn't planning on just writing **_**one**_** fanfiction about this. It wouldn't make sense unless she died, and we don't want that do we? This is '**_**Ace, Gifts**__**from Marcus'**_** not '**_**Romeo and Juliet'**_** right? So here you go guys, I give you the gift of knowledge, doing what they did at Erudite. Letting you know only what is necessary, I should let you know that we aren't done with the second one, so we haven't named it yet. But as soon as we do, we'll let you guys know. So if the 16 (the last) chapter is taking a bit long, know that we're busy composing the message letting you guys know what the second one is called. I would also like to answer the one question I keep getting asked. I am an Erudite-Born Dauntless tattoo artist, and Charlotte is an Erudite-Born Dauntless intiate trainer, but in her spare time she hunts in the Amity fields for meat for us to use in the kitchen. We would love to hear about your ex-factions and current factions (And what faction you are in and which one you want to transfer too if you're under 16) leave it in the comments below if you can. enjoy yourselfs. 3 3 3. **

**Bloody Kisses + bandaged fist bumps,**

**Charlotte + Aniston.**

I HAVE ATTENDED Abnegation's initiation ceremony every year except this one. It is a quiet affair. The initiates, who spend thirty days performing community service before they can become full members, sit side by side on a bench. One of the older members reads the Abnegation manifesto, which is a short paragraph about forgetting the self and the dangers of self-involvement. Then all the older members wash the initiates' feet. Then they all share a meal, each person serving food to the person on his left.

The Dauntless don't do that.

Initiation day plunges the Dauntless compound into insanity and chaos. There are people everywhere, and most of them are inebriated by noon. I prefer it here, not for the first time. I fight my way through them to get a plate of food at lunch and carry it back to the dormitory with me. On the way I see someone fall off the path on the Pit wall and, judging by his screams and the way he grabs at his leg, he broke something.

The dormitory, at least, is quiet. I stare at my plate of food. I cant believe I actually dished up, I'm not hungry despite not having breakfast this morning. I decide I might have to give this to someone who doesn't have. God, I'm so stiff.

The thought of my former faction sends a tremor through my hands. I need to stop them from finding out about Four. I will find a way, but not today. Today I have to focus on what awaits me. One thing at a time.

It doesn't matter who thinks what. In two hours I will walk to the fear landscape room with the other initiates, go through my fear landscape, and become Dauntless. It's too late to turn back.

When I finish, I bury my face in my pillow. I don't mean to fall asleep, but after a while, I do, and I wake up to Will shaking my shoulder.

"Time to go," he says. he looks ashen.

I rub my eyes to press the sleep from them. I have my shoes on already. The other initiates are in the dormitory, tying shoelaces and buttoning jackets and throwing smiles around like they don't mean it. I pull my hair into a bun and put on my black jacket, zipping it up to my throat. The torture will be over soon, but can we forget the simulations? Will we ever sleep soundly again, with the memories of our fears in our heads? Or will we finally forget our fears today, like we're supposed to?

We walk to the Pit and up the path that leads to the glass building. I look up at the glass ceiling. I can't see daylight because the soles of shoes cover every inch of glass above us. For a second I think I hear the glass creak, but it is my imagination. I walk up the stairs with Christina, and the crowd chokes me.

I am too short to see above anyone's head, so I stare at Will's back and walk in his wake. The heat of so many bodies around me makes it difficult to breathe. Beads of sweat gather on my forehead. A break in the crowd reveals what they are all clustered around: a series of screens on the wall to my left.

I hear a cheer and stop to look at the screens. The screen on the left shows a black-clothed girl in the fear landscape room—Marlene. I watch her move, her eyes wide, but I can't tell what obstacle she's facing. Thank God no one out here will see my fears either—just my reactions to them.

The middle screen shows her heart rate. It picks up for a second and then decreases. When it reaches a normal rate, the screen flashes green and the Dauntless cheer. The screen on the right shows her time.

I tear my eyes from the screen and jog to catch up to Christina and Will. Tobias stands just inside a door on the left side of the room that I barely noticed the last time I was here. It is next to the fear landscape room. I walk past him without looking at him.

The room is large and contains another screen, similar to the one outside. A line of people sit in chairs in front of it. Eric is one of them, and so is Max. The others are also older. Judging by the wires connected to their heads, and their blank eyes, they are observing the simulation.

Behind them is another line of chairs, all occupied now. I am the last to enter, so I don't get one.

"Hey!" Uriah calls out from across the room. He sits with the other Dauntless-born initiates. Only four of them are left; the rest have gone through their fear landscapes already. He pats his leg. "You can sit on my lap, if you want."

"Tempting," I call back, grinning. "It's fine. I like to stand."

I also don't want Eric to see me sitting on someone else's lap.

The lights lift in the fear landscape room, revealing Marlene in a crouch, her face streaked with tears. Max, Eric, and a few others shake off the simulation daze and walk out. A few seconds later I see them on the screen, congratulating her for finishing.

"Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand," Tobias says. "So Ace will go first, and Tris will go last."

That means I'm first

I walk to the chair and Eric and I exchange glances.

I open my eyes and walk to the front of the observation room, where Eric stands with a syringe full of orange liquid. I barely feel the needle as it plunges into my neck, barely see Eric's pierced face as he presses the plunger down. I imagine that the serum is liquid adrenaline rushing through my veins, making me strong.

"Ready?" he asks. "It's going to be fine." He whispers and I nod even though I don't believe it.

I open my eyes and see the rom I fear most, my room. Its locked and I cant hear anything. There's, oddly, a mirror in the room. I step up and look at the mirror, I look…fat. God, am I afraid of becoming fat? I almost laugh at the thought and then I realize I'm only fat on one part of my stomach. In front, like a pregnant woman. _Like a pregnant woman._ God, I'm afraid of pregnancy? I hear small voices behind me. Arguing. "No, dad will come back." The little girl says. "No, he won't." Her twin brother says. On the floor sits another girl, she is sobbing silently. God dammit. Three kids and another on the way. I'm afraid of having a family? "Tell him mom, Eric isn't coming home." The boy says to me and I look between the two of them. "Eric?" I ask and run my hand over the girls hair, like my mother did. I figured to calm down I might as well act calm, but my heart was hammering In my chest. "Yeah. Daddy. He isn't coming home, is he?" I stop breathing. Daddy? I am Mommy and Eric is Daddy? Am I afraid we'll have children? "I'm sure he'll be back my loves. He is probably just out, buying some cake for the three of you. "You really thing so aunt Ace?" the girl asks lifting her head, she looks like Beatrice but she has Four's eyes. This keeps getting weirder and weirder. I nod, "Yes my love. I know him. He wouldn't leave us here." My heart stops racing and the children and their voices fade away. I stand in the dark again.

I run my hand over my stomach to make sure that I am not really pregnant. My face is still dry so I would call it an accomplishment. The lights come on and I see her, Myra. Tied in a chair and I put my hands out. Glass. I hear Marcus's footsteps and I gulp. I smell leather and cinnamon. This feels real but I know its not_. Its not real!_ It feals real. _But its not!_ I'm such a nutcase. I close my eyes. My face is wet now and I am crying like a child would. I focus on babies. The baby that was in my stomach a while back, the children. They evolved from babies. Little babies that were created by a man and a woman. Hopefully a married couple, but if not then it doesn't matter. An unwanted child isn't loved any less. I smile at the thought and I am in pitch black darkness again.

I hear max's voice, shouting at me. "How dare you do such a thing?" And I notice my heart beat is higher than ever. I'm afraid of Max. another laughable thought. "We are Dauntless! Not rebels." I know how to face this. I'll treat him the same way I treat everyone. "NO!" I shout louder than I knew I could, "You aren't rebels, you are Dauntless." I point to the lot of people behind him, including Eric. "But, i. I am a Dauntless rebel, like no other. The kind that will beat you in every way she can before punching you hard in the gut." My smartass moment cured my heavy heart rate and Max disappeared. The room darkened. "Get out!" Eric yells at me. "Get out of the compound, leave Dauntless! We found out about Tobias! we think he's been boasting your points!" I scream silently, my fourth fear is being kicked out of Dauntless. "Get the hell out!" he yells when I don't move. He grabs my ear and I feel a strange sensation. My foot. it's not hurting. I decide this one I can't handle and I have to face it. I pull away from his grasp and start running, running to the factionless with open arms. They look like zombies, but I don't care. I run to the first one I can find and hug her tightly. The room goes dark and I expect my worst to come next, constant vigilance is all I can think.


	13. Chapter 13

**So, yesterday we ended up having another argument. Charlotte has a few cuts on her lip and she bit her tongue open. While my hands were stepped on and the scabs were pulled off as she sat on me. So, now we've come to a conclusion, we're going to confess. So, here you **go. **Guys, I have a confession. This is actually almost over and it's time to come clean with you guys. I wasn't planning on just writing **_**one**_** fanfiction about this. It wouldn't make sense unless she died, and we don't want that do we? This is '**_**Ace, Gifts**__**from Marcus'**_** not '**_**Romeo and Juliet'**_** right? So here you go guys, I give you the gift of knowledge, doing what they did at Erudite. Letting you know only what is necessary, I should let you know that we aren't done with the second one, so we haven't named it yet. But as soon as we do, we'll let you guys know. So if the 16 (the last) chapter is taking a bit long, know that we're busy composing the message letting you guys know what the second one is called. I would also like to answer the one question I keep getting asked. I am an Erudite-Born Dauntless tattoo artist, and Charlotte is an Erudite-Born Dauntless intiate trainer, but in her spare time she hunts in the Amity fields for meat for us to use in the kitchen. We would love to hear about your ex-factions and current factions (And what faction you are in and which one you want to transfer too if you're under 16) leave it in the comments below if you can. enjoy yourselfs. 3 3 3. **

**Bloody Kisses + bandaged fist bumps,**

**Charlotte + Aniston.**

I HAVE ATTENDED Abnegation's initiation ceremony every year except this one. It is a quiet affair. The initiates, who spend thirty days performing community service before they can become full members, sit side by side on a bench. One of the older members reads the Abnegation manifesto, which is a short paragraph about forgetting the self and the dangers of self-involvement. Then all the older members wash the initiates' feet. Then they all share a meal, each person serving food to the person on his left.

The Dauntless don't do that.

Initiation day plunges the Dauntless compound into insanity and chaos. There are people everywhere, and most of them are inebriated by noon. I prefer it here, not for the first time. I fight my way through them to get a plate of food at lunch and carry it back to the dormitory with me. On the way I see someone fall off the path on the Pit wall and, judging by his screams and the way he grabs at his leg, he broke something.

The dormitory, at least, is quiet. I stare at my plate of food. I cant believe I actually dished up, I'm not hungry despite not having breakfast this morning. I decide I might have to give this to someone who doesn't have. God, I'm so stiff.

The thought of my former faction sends a tremor through my hands. I need to stop them from finding out about Four. I will find a way, but not today. Today I have to focus on what awaits me. One thing at a time.

It doesn't matter who thinks what. In two hours I will walk to the fear landscape room with the other initiates, go through my fear landscape, and become Dauntless. It's too late to turn back.

When I finish, I bury my face in my pillow. I don't mean to fall asleep, but after a while, I do, and I wake up to Will shaking my shoulder.

"Time to go," he says. he looks ashen.

I rub my eyes to press the sleep from them. I have my shoes on already. The other initiates are in the dormitory, tying shoelaces and buttoning jackets and throwing smiles around like they don't mean it. I pull my hair into a bun and put on my black jacket, zipping it up to my throat. The torture will be over soon, but can we forget the simulations? Will we ever sleep soundly again, with the memories of our fears in our heads? Or will we finally forget our fears today, like we're supposed to?

We walk to the Pit and up the path that leads to the glass building. I look up at the glass ceiling. I can't see daylight because the soles of shoes cover every inch of glass above us. For a second I think I hear the glass creak, but it is my imagination. I walk up the stairs with Christina, and the crowd chokes me.

I am too short to see above anyone's head, so I stare at Will's back and walk in his wake. The heat of so many bodies around me makes it difficult to breathe. Beads of sweat gather on my forehead. A break in the crowd reveals what they are all clustered around: a series of screens on the wall to my left.

I hear a cheer and stop to look at the screens. The screen on the left shows a black-clothed girl in the fear landscape room—Marlene. I watch her move, her eyes wide, but I can't tell what obstacle she's facing. Thank God no one out here will see my fears either—just my reactions to them.

The middle screen shows her heart rate. It picks up for a second and then decreases. When it reaches a normal rate, the screen flashes green and the Dauntless cheer. The screen on the right shows her time.

I tear my eyes from the screen and jog to catch up to Christina and Will. Tobias stands just inside a door on the left side of the room that I barely noticed the last time I was here. It is next to the fear landscape room. I walk past him without looking at him.

The room is large and contains another screen, similar to the one outside. A line of people sit in chairs in front of it. Eric is one of them, and so is Max. The others are also older. Judging by the wires connected to their heads, and their blank eyes, they are observing the simulation.

Behind them is another line of chairs, all occupied now. I am the last to enter, so I don't get one.

"Hey!" Uriah calls out from across the room. He sits with the other Dauntless-born initiates. Only four of them are left; the rest have gone through their fear landscapes already. He pats his leg. "You can sit on my lap, if you want."

"Tempting," I call back, grinning. "It's fine. I like to stand."

I also don't want Eric to see me sitting on someone else's lap.

The lights lift in the fear landscape room, revealing Marlene in a crouch, her face streaked with tears. Max, Eric, and a few others shake off the simulation daze and walk out. A few seconds later I see them on the screen, congratulating her for finishing.

"Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand," Tobias says. "So Ace will go first, and Tris will go last."

That means I'm first

I walk to the chair and Eric and I exchange glances.

I open my eyes and walk to the front of the observation room, where Eric stands with a syringe full of orange liquid. I barely feel the needle as it plunges into my neck, barely see Eric's pierced face as he presses the plunger down. I imagine that the serum is liquid adrenaline rushing through my veins, making me strong.

"Ready?" he asks. "It's going to be fine." He whispers and I nod even though I don't believe it.

I open my eyes and see the rom I fear most, my room. Its locked and I cant hear anything. There's, oddly, a mirror in the room. I step up and look at the mirror, I look…fat. God, am I afraid of becoming fat? I almost laugh at the thought and then I realize I'm only fat on one part of my stomach. In front, like a pregnant woman. _Like a pregnant woman._ God, I'm afraid of pregnancy? I hear small voices behind me. Arguing. "No, dad will come back." The little girl says. "No, he won't." Her twin brother says. On the floor sits another girl, she is sobbing silently. God dammit. Three kids and another on the way. I'm afraid of having a family? "Tell him mom, Eric isn't coming home." The boy says to me and I look between the two of them. "Eric?" I ask and run my hand over the girls hair, like my mother did. I figured to calm down I might as well act calm, but my heart was hammering In my chest. "Yeah. Daddy. He isn't coming home, is he?" I stop breathing. Daddy? I am Mommy and Eric is Daddy? Am I afraid we'll have children? "I'm sure he'll be back my loves. He is probably just out, buying some cake for the three of you. "You really thing so aunt Ace?" the girl asks lifting her head, she looks like Beatrice but she has Four's eyes. This keeps getting weirder and weirder. I nod, "Yes my love. I know him. He wouldn't leave us here." My heart stops racing and the children and their voices fade away. I stand in the dark again.

I run my hand over my stomach to make sure that I am not really pregnant. My face is still dry so I would call it an accomplishment. The lights come on and I see her, Myra. Tied in a chair and I put my hands out. Glass. I hear Marcus's footsteps and I gulp. I smell leather and cinnamon. This feels real but I know its not_. Its not real!_ It feals real. _But its not!_ I'm such a nutcase. I close my eyes. My face is wet now and I am crying like a child would. I focus on babies. The baby that was in my stomach a while back, the children. They evolved from babies. Little babies that were created by a man and a woman. Hopefully a married couple, but if not then it doesn't matter. An unwanted child isn't loved any less. I smile at the thought and I am in pitch black darkness again.

I hear max's voice, shouting at me. "How dare you do such a thing?" And I notice my heart beat is higher than ever. I'm afraid of Max. another laughable thought. "We are Dauntless! Not rebels." I know how to face this. I'll treat him the same way I treat everyone. "NO!" I shout louder than I knew I could, "You aren't rebels, you are Dauntless." I point to the lot of people behind him, including Eric. "But, i. I am a Dauntless rebel, like no other. The kind that will beat you in every way she can before punching you hard in the gut." My smartass moment cured my heavy heart rate and Max disappeared. The room darkened. "Get out!" Eric yells at me. "Get out of the compound, leave Dauntless! We found out about Tobias! we think he's been boasting your points!" I scream silently, my fourth fear is being kicked out of Dauntless. "Get the hell out!" he yells when I don't move. He grabs my ear and I feel a strange sensation. My foot. it's not hurting. I decide this one I can't handle and I have to face it. I pull away from his grasp and start running, running to the factionless with open arms. They look like zombies, but I don't care. I run to the first one I can find and hug her tightly. The room goes dark and I expect my worst to come next, constant vigilance is all I can think.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi, Nikkie, Leon and Bacon. I know for a fact that nikkie, doesnt read this, and I'm sure he never will. But that's ok, because he's still cool anyway. Leon isn't even reading this, I doubt he reads anything of the sort, he smells nice and I like him. It is for those reasons that I want to (secretly) ask him out over the internet. "Go out with me?" he doesn't even know, but I'm sure he'd say no if he could. But, then there's Bacon. Jacob (Bacon) is my best friend. He is smart and witty while being an idiot. He can make me laugh and cry at the same time. this one time I went into the ugly cry, and then started laughing. He made me feel better by naming it '**_**Cryfing**_**' we still laugh about it. he's the awesomest guy Aniston and I will ever meet. He's amazing, and even though he doesn't like reading, he's reading this for me. He says its really good, and I hope it's true. He likes Peter, and that is the only reason I haven't killed Peter yet. He is funny and smart, but goes home when he has a head ache. That's annoying. I had to lie for him in Maths today, to convince our teacher he really was sick, and that's why he went home. I told her he puked, and she believed me. We have to apply at different schools because ours is closing down. So I've applied to an amazing public school, I hoped I got accepted; until I found out he applied (and got accepted) to a private school. Now secretly I hope I don't get accepted so that I have an excuse to apply at his school. Is it wrong? It feels wrong. But at the end of this year I might never see him again. Him or, Nachos, Or lemon, or Leon, or Thando. I might never see any of them again. It sucks. But he's always been there for me, and that is why this whole fanfiction is dedicated to him; and only him. Because without him Ace wouldn't have chosen Abnegation, she wouldn't have made it out of that train. She would've given up. She would've been afraid to choose Dauntless. Because he is her strength, and mine too. he is the reason she exists. And for that you all owe him great gratitude. So here you go Bacon, all for you. Dude, I'm going to miss you. **

**Kisses, Cryfing and snot, **

**Noodles, Princess Washcloth, BB, Nads, Nadi, Boop, Mother fucking princess, Mini Miley, any other nicknames you've given me and Charlotte.**

THE LIGHTS COME on. I stand alone in the empty room with the concrete walls, shaking. I sink to my knees, wrapping my arms around my chest. It wasn't cold when I walked in, but it feels cold now. I rub my arms to get rid of the goose bumps. I have never felt relief like this before. Every muscle in my body relaxes at once and I breathe freely again. I can't imagine going through my fear landscape in my spare time just for practise. I think of my fears and note my worst, the one with the children. I don't know why I'm so afraid of it, but it's the worst. The one I can't handle, being a mother. The door opens, and I stand. Max, Eric, Tobias, and a few people I don't know walk into the room in a line, standing in a small crowd in front of me. Tobias smiles at me.

"Congratulations," says Eric. "You have successfully completed your final evaluation."

I try to smile. It doesn't work. I can't shake the memory of my stomach, or the look on the children's faces. Their innocent voices play in my mind.

"Thanks," I say.

"There is one more thing before you can go and get ready for the welcoming banquet," he says. He beckons to one of the unfamiliar people behind him. A woman with blue hair hands him a small black case. He opens it and takes out a syringe and a long needle.

I tense up at the sight of it. The orange-brown liquid in the syringe reminds me of what they inject us with before simulations. And I am supposed to be finished with those.

"At least you aren't afraid of needles," he says. "This will inject you with a tracking device that will be activated only if you are reported missing. Just a precaution."

"How often do people go missing?" I ask, frowning.

"Not often." Eric smirks. "This is a new development, courtesy of the Erudite. We have been injecting every Dauntless throughout the day, and I assume all other factions will comply as soon as possible."

"All right," I say, my throat tight.

Eric approaches me with the needle and syringe in hand. I pull my hair away from my neck and tilt my head to the side. He brushes the hair from my neck, I look away as Eric wipes my neck with an antiseptic wipe and eases the needle into my skin. The deep ache spreads through my neck, painful but brief. He puts the needle back in its case and sticks an adhesive bandage on the injection site.

"The banquet is in two hours," he says. "Your ranking among the other initiates, Dauntless-born included, will be announced then. Good luck."

The small crowd files out of the room, but Eric lingers. He pauses by the door and beckons for me to follow him, so I do. The glass room above the Pit is full of Dauntless, some of them walking the ropes above our heads, some talking and laughing in groups. He smiles at me. He must not have seen the motherly one. "So I heard you only had four fears. That's less than half the average." I manage a smile and he puts his arm around my waist, lifting me off the ground and then picking me up completely and carrying me to his room. He put me on his bed and sat next to me. "Um, so I'm a bit confused. As well as the other leaders." He said and the guts in my stomach let me knew something bad was going to happen.

"There was this one where, you were pregnant and automatically we all thought you were afraid of having sex, giving birth or being pregnant in general." I nod and look at the floor. "Then there were these kids calling you mommy and we decided you afraid of being a mother." I whimper, "And then, the mention their father has left you alone with the kids. And we all think that you're afraid of being a mother alone." Tears run over my face and a sound escapes my lips that sounds like a sigh but with more consistency , "Then they mention that I'm their father, and they all agree that you're afraid I will be the father of your children. I agree too, but on the inside I think, 'this is absolutely ridiculous,' right? Because you love me." I cover my hand with my mouth to stifle a sob. "Explain." He says calmly and I sniff.

"I am not sure what I'm afraid of and have come to the conclusion that must've been more than one fear at once. I don't know what those fears are, but I am sure there is more than one. For one, I am sure it is the fact that I am pregnant at a young age. Then I become really nervous because I have three kids and one on the way. I realize that I don't have a ring on my finger and I feel like crumbling to pieces. Then I hear their father left and I almost have a heart attack, then I hear it's you and I am relieved you are the father of my children, but angry that you've left. Confident you'll return but afraid you wont. Then I assure the children you'll return and I look down at the child of a girl I view as my little sister and my older brother and by then I am spiralling into insanity at the speed of light. But I keep my composure, remembering my mother. She used to always be calm and relaxed and she would pat my head and run her hand over my hair to calm me down and to assure me everything would be okay." He looks at me and I nod, it's the truth. He presses his lips to mine softly and then pulls back, "I want to father your children, but I will marry you first. I would never leave them with you, not if I still love you the way I do now." He kisses me again and I am grateful for what he has said. It has put me at ease.

"Sure you want to wait until we're married?" I ask softly and he nods nervously. "For your sake." he says softly and kisses me. I smooch him back, "Don't be ridiculous, if you feel like it you should just let me know. I was in Abnegation, you had to be married to hold hands. But I'm in Dauntless, here things are different here." He laughs and adds, "Very." And he kisses me. His hands slip under my shirt and suddenly I am afraid. If this goes through, will I get hurt? I flinch, I will. But that's ok. Because kids are worth it, and so is he. Eric is worth everything, everything in existence. My hands go under his shirt and I can feel him shudder. But he relaxes. After a while, I'm sitting on him and kissing him. My hands on his chest, under his shirt. his hands are cupping my bottom and he spends the time, moaning and groaning slightly. I've decided that I am his, his to kiss, his to sleep with and his to hold. Even though he has stuck to his promise of staying away from sex. I am grateful though, he's doing it for me. Even though I can see he wants it, he can tell I don't. and the fact that he's being patient makes me value his selflessness, and a thought occurs to me. Is he a _stiff?_


	15. Chapter 15

**Right, so listen up. Charlotte and I are going to have to work on the name of the next fanfiction. Its going to take a long time and a lot of thought. So, even after chapter 16 is complete, there might be an extra chapter letting you know what the next one is called. We decided that we might even give a link to the next fanfic so you don't have to search for it. we're both very proud with our work and happy that all of ya'll like it. I hope you do, but if you don't, screw you.**

**Fist bumps,**

**Aniston**

I WATCH Eric's face carefully as we walk to the dining hall, searching for any sign of disappointment. We spent the two hours lying on his bed, talking and kissing and eventually dozing until we heard shouts in the hallway—people on their way to the banquet. Before we walk into the hall he pulls me aside, "I need you to do me a favour. In my fear landscape I am afraid my mind will be controlled. If it ever happens, wake me up, fix me." I nod, I think he's joking but I see the look on his face and nod again. It seemed off topic, we were talking about dogs. But I was happy to make him feel safe.

When we reach the entrance, we separate. I go in first, and run to the table I share with Tris, Will and Christina. He enters second, a minute later, and sits down next to Zeke, who hands him a dark bottle. He waves it away.

"Where did you go?" asks Christina. "Everyone else went back to the dormitory."

"I just wandered around," Tris says. "I was too nervous to talk to everyone else about it." and she blushes. I wonder how she can lie so well. They look at me and I remember I went missing too. "Promise you wont tell?" I whisper and they nod. "Eric and I had a…bit of a…"

"Fling?" Christina asks and I blush bright red, shaking my head.

"We went to his room, chatted, drank tea, kissed and chatted." I cover my mouth and whisper over the kissing part. They all hear and burst out laughing. Uriah and Marlene, bekon me from that side of the table and I get up and sit there. "Why are you so red?" Lyn asks me and I feel heat in my face. "Ran into Eric." I say in a hushed voice and they giggle. "He has a comfortable bed." I tease and they start laughing. I push away the food because again, I am not hungry. I haven't eaten in a long time

"What job are you going to pick?" Uriah asks me.

"Um, well. I'm probably going to become a Dauntless leader. But I also want to work in the control rooms and –once a year- train initiates. Like four. You guys?"

"I have a feeling in my gut telling me I'm going t be a tattoo artist." I had no idea Uriah had an artistic side, but he does. I nod.

"I was thinking of becoming a fighter." Lyn says and we all nod. We're all so excited because we know we're obviously staying, but doubt still hangs in the air. I think about Eric. Why is it that when I ever it goes quiet my mind wonders there? I think about what he made me promise. Random. Maybe he knows something that I don't. but if so, will I even be awake? Or will everybody be controlled?

"What's he saying now?" Uriah looks at me.

"What? Who?"

"Eric. In your daydream."

"What?"

"You were just staring at the table with your eyebrows furrowed. You only do that when you talk about Eric; always."

"You do it a lot." Lyn adds

"Oh, shut up." I say, only half joking.

A microphone squeals somewhere, so loud I clap my hands over my ears. I look across the room at Eric, who stands on one of the tables with the microphone in hand, tapping it with his fingertips. After the tapping is done and the crowd of Dauntless is quiet, Eric clears his throat and begins.

"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite," he says. The crowd laughs. I wonder if they know that he was an Erudite once; that under all the pretence of Dauntless recklessness and even brutality, he is more like an Erudite than anything else. If they did, I doubt they would laugh at him. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations."

At the word "congratulations" the room erupts, not into applause, but into the pounding of fists on table tops. The noise vibrates in my chest, and I grin.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you."

Even though I know most of the people here probably dont believe in any of those things, I find myself smiling, because I believe in them.

More pounding fists, this time accompanied by whoops.

"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked," Eric says. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores—the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

As soon as the word "me" leaves his mouth, the names appear on the screen, which is almost as large as the wall itself. Next to the number one is my picture, and the name "Ace" my mouth dries. A weight in my chest lifts. I didn't realize it was there until it was gone, and I didn't have to feel it anymore. I smile, and a tingling spreads through me. First. I knew it, this faction is where I belong.

Will's arms wrap around me and he gives me a bear hug. I hear cheering and laughing and shouting. Christina points at the screen, her eyes wide and filled with tears.

Ace

Tris

Uriah

Lynn

Marlene

Peter

Will

Christina

I smile, and Marlene reaches across the table to hug me. I am too distracted to protest against the affection. She laughs in my ear.

Someone grabs me from behind and shouts in my ear. It's Uriah. I can't turn around, so I reach back and squeeze his shoulder.

"Congratulations!" I shout.

"You beat them!" he shouts back. He releases me, laughing, and runs into a crowd of Dauntless-born initiates.

I crane my neck to look at the screen again. I follow the list down.

Eight, nine, and ten are Dauntless-borns whose names I barely recognize.

Eleven and twelve are Molly and Drew.

Molly and Drew are cut.

It isn't quite the victory I wanted, but it's a victory nonetheless.

Will and Christina kiss, a little too sloppily for my taste. All around me is the pounding of Dauntless fists. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Eric standing behind me. I get up, beaming. His hands are behind his back and he's nervous. He stutters for a little bit. Then I hear Zeke behind him. He looks at what's behind his back and then he's eyebrows raise. "Wow! Everybody! Quiet! Eric wants to say something." I narrow my eyes, what could he possibly be wanting to say? Everybody around us quiets and form a group around him, I hear him whimper softly. He pulls out a bunch of roses from behind his back. Oh god, he knows he doesn't have to do this. Its embarrassing.

"Um, Ace. W…..w….would you maybe, kinda, sorta, maybe want to go and…" he looks away, "Um, go and…um…" he looks around and breaths out. "For gods sake just come and see a movie with me would ya?" he says loudly and the Dauntless cheer. My face feels like its been set on fire. "Bloody hell, I thought you'd never ask." I say, we kiss and everybody cheers. I hear Uriah, Lynn and Marlene, laughing.

It is the best moment of my life.

A moment later, Eric's thumb brushes over the injection site in my neck, and I feel like an idiot. I don't know how I didn't figure this out before.

Erudite wants war, but they cant fight themselves; they need Dauntless.

Coloured serum contains transmitters.

Transmitters connect the mind to a simulation program.

Erudite developed the serum.

Eric is afraid of being mind-controlled

he knew it. now I do too.

I break away from the kiss and stare wide-eyed at Eric.

"Ace?" he says, confused.

I shake my head. "Why did you wait so long? I mean, we've already kissed before."

"Maybe I didn't want to tell them I was in love with you just yet." Everybody looks at us surprised. So I let out a laugh, I don't mean to. But it bubbles deep in my throat and its easier to let it out than keep it in. he laughs too. I know what's going on. They're going to make us fight. And I know how they're going to do it.

**Aniston and I have different views, so now we have different messages too. we're takng turns to write at the top and write at the bottom. I know that most of you prefer me because I'm nicer. But Aniston is a big ladies-man and the girls at school claim they're going to read this. So they hate me. **

**Kisses, **

**Charlotte**


	16. Note from Aniston

**Hey guys, I'm just here letting you know that the next chapter might take a little bit. Charlotte has been flirting with this guy for 4 months now. She's asked him out, and given hm=im time, she's flirted more and more. In my opinion he was a complete jackass. When someone mentioned him beig a complete idiot, she grined, said she knew and tried to stop. But she couldnt. So yesterday, with a wink and a smile, "he was stolen" (as charlotte puts it) by the class slut. He is, unsurprisingly, a complete douche. she is currently stuffing her mouth with whatever chocolate she can find, blowing her nose in all the tissues I have and sobbing loudly. wish her luck. **

**Fist-bumps and kisses, **

**Aniston.**


	17. Chapter 16

**Right, so listen up. Charlotte and I are going to have to work on the name of the next fanfiction. Its going to take a long time and a lot of thought. So, even after chapter 16 is complete, there might be an extra chapter letting you know what the next one is called. We decided that we might even give a link to the next fanfic so you don't have to search for it. we're both very proud with our work and happy that all of ya'll like it. I hope you do, but if you don't, screw you.**

**Fist bumps,**

**Aniston**

I WATCH Eric's face carefully as we walk to the dining hall, searching for any sign of disappointment. We spent the two hours lying on his bed, talking and kissing and eventually dozing until we heard shouts in the hallway—people on their way to the banquet. Before we walk into the hall he pulls me aside, "I need you to do me a favour. In my fear landscape I am afraid my mind will be controlled. If it ever happens, wake me up, fix me." I nod, I think he's joking but I see the look on his face and nod again. It seemed off topic, we were talking about dogs. But I was happy to make him feel safe.

When we reach the entrance, we separate. I go in first, and run to the table I share with Tris, Will and Christina. He enters second, a minute later, and sits down next to Zeke, who hands him a dark bottle. He waves it away.

"Where did you go?" asks Christina. "Everyone else went back to the dormitory."

"I just wandered around," Tris says. "I was too nervous to talk to everyone else about it." and she blushes. I wonder how she can lie so well. They look at me and I remember I went missing too. "Promise you wont tell?" I whisper and they nod. "Eric and I had a…bit of a…"

"Fling?" Christina asks and I blush bright red, shaking my head.

"We went to his room, chatted, drank tea, kissed and chatted." I cover my mouth and whisper over the kissing part. They all hear and burst out laughing. Uriah and Marlene, bekon me from that side of the table and I get up and sit there. "Why are you so red?" Lyn asks me and I feel heat in my face. "Ran into Eric." I say in a hushed voice and they giggle. "He has a comfortable bed." I tease and they start laughing. I push away the food because again, I am not hungry. I haven't eaten in a long time

"What job are you going to pick?" Uriah asks me.

"Um, well. I'm probably going to become a Dauntless leader. But I also want to work in the control rooms and –once a year- train initiates. Like four. You guys?"

"I have a feeling in my gut telling me I'm going t be a tattoo artist." I had no idea Uriah had an artistic side, but he does. I nod.

"I was thinking of becoming a fighter." Lyn says and we all nod. We're all so excited because we know we're obviously staying, but doubt still hangs in the air. I think about Eric. Why is it that when I ever it goes quiet my mind wonders there? I think about what he made me promise. Random. Maybe he knows something that I don't. but if so, will I even be awake? Or will everybody be controlled?

"What's he saying now?" Uriah looks at me.

"What? Who?"

"Eric. In your daydream."

"What?"

"You were just staring at the table with your eyebrows furrowed. You only do that when you talk about Eric; always."

"You do it a lot." Lyn adds

"Oh, shut up." I say, only half joking.

A microphone squeals somewhere, so loud I clap my hands over my ears. I look across the room at Eric, who stands on one of the tables with the microphone in hand, tapping it with his fingertips. After the tapping is done and the crowd of Dauntless is quiet, Eric clears his throat and begins.

"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite," he says. The crowd laughs. I wonder if they know that he was an Erudite once; that under all the pretence of Dauntless recklessness and even brutality, he is more like an Erudite than anything else. If they did, I doubt they would laugh at him. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations."

At the word "congratulations" the room erupts, not into applause, but into the pounding of fists on table tops. The noise vibrates in my chest, and I grin.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you."

Even though I know most of the people here probably dont believe in any of those things, I find myself smiling, because I believe in them.

More pounding fists, this time accompanied by whoops.

"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked," Eric says. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores—the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

As soon as the word "me" leaves his mouth, the names appear on the screen, which is almost as large as the wall itself. Next to the number one is my picture, and the name "Ace" my mouth dries. A weight in my chest lifts. I didn't realize it was there until it was gone, and I didn't have to feel it anymore. I smile, and a tingling spreads through me. First. I knew it, this faction is where I belong.

Will's arms wrap around me and he gives me a bear hug. I hear cheering and laughing and shouting. Christina points at the screen, her eyes wide and filled with tears.

Ace

Tris

Uriah

Lynn

Marlene

Peter

Will

Christina

I smile, and Marlene reaches across the table to hug me. I am too distracted to protest against the affection. She laughs in my ear.

Someone grabs me from behind and shouts in my ear. It's Uriah. I can't turn around, so I reach back and squeeze his shoulder.

"Congratulations!" I shout.

"You beat them!" he shouts back. He releases me, laughing, and runs into a crowd of Dauntless-born initiates.

I crane my neck to look at the screen again. I follow the list down.

Eight, nine, and ten are Dauntless-borns whose names I barely recognize.

Eleven and twelve are Molly and Drew.

Molly and Drew are cut.

It isn't quite the victory I wanted, but it's a victory nonetheless.

Will and Christina kiss, a little too sloppily for my taste. All around me is the pounding of Dauntless fists. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Eric standing behind me. I get up, beaming. His hands are behind his back and he's nervous. He stutters for a little bit. Then I hear Zeke behind him. He looks at what's behind his back and then he's eyebrows raise. "Wow! Everybody! Quiet! Eric wants to say something." I narrow my eyes, what could he possibly be wanting to say? Everybody around us quiets and form a group around him, I hear him whimper softly. He pulls out a bunch of roses from behind his back. Oh god, he knows he doesn't have to do this. Its embarrassing.

"Um, Ace. W…..w….would you maybe, kinda, sorta, maybe want to go and…" he looks away, "Um, go and…um…" he looks around and breaths out. "For gods sake just come and see a movie with me would ya?" he says loudly and the Dauntless cheer. My face feels like its been set on fire. "Bloody hell, I thought you'd never ask." I say, we kiss and everybody cheers. I hear Uriah, Lynn and Marlene, laughing.

It is the best moment of my life.

A moment later, Eric's thumb brushes over the injection site in my neck, and I feel like an idiot. I don't know how I didn't figure this out before.

Erudite wants war, but they cant fight themselves; they need Dauntless.

Coloured serum contains transmitters.

Transmitters connect the mind to a simulation program.

Erudite developed the serum.

Eric is afraid of being mind-controlled

he knew it. now I do too.

I break away from the kiss and stare wide-eyed at Eric.

"Ace?" he says, confused.

I shake my head. "Why did you wait so long? I mean, we've already kissed before."

"Maybe I didn't want to tell them I was in love with you just yet." Everybody looks at us surprised. So I let out a laugh, I don't mean to. But it bubbles deep in my throat and its easier to let it out than keep it in. he laughs too. I know what's going on. They're going to make us fight. And I know how they're going to do it.

**Aniston and I have different views, so now we have different messages too. we're takng turns to write at the top and write at the bottom. I know that most of you prefer me because I'm nicer. But Aniston is a big ladies-man and the girls at school claim they're going to read this. So they hate me. **

**Kisses, **

**Charlotte**


	18. End

Right guys,

Thank you for reading our fanfiction, Ace, Gifts from Marcus. it's the first to the Ace trilogy. I really hope you guys enjoyed it very much.

The fanfiction was dedicated to the following people:

Bacon- my best friend ever. Love you dude!

Nikii- Or deuce….Love you!

Leon and slut- :P

I would also like to thank the following commenters:

MelHispana-

Marina92

Mitchaaa Potter Black.

7Deuce7

Coming soon to webpages near you! (first chapter already posted)

Alex Black. Alcohol, leather, Haymitch and everything in between. (Hunger games) Starring: Haymitch Abbertany. Special guest stars: Ron Blackadder and Alex Black/ Abbertany.

s/10472498/1/Alex-Black-Alcohol-leather-Haymitch-and-everything-in-between

And the first chapter of Ace's Dramatic life part 2:

s/10472667/1/Ace-and-the-factionless-Second-fanfic-in-series


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